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BelleParticipant
Hi Silky 🙂
firstly, I hope you are having a nice day today. Have you tried starting something new? maybe joining a group or hobby that really interests you? you may find that by doing something you are really passionate about, you are not only having an awesome time! but you are going to meet like minded people who share the same interest! always a good starting point!
when I lost my partner I started doing kick boxing, something I had always wanted to do. I have met so many new people who are amazing and on my level due to same interests being shared. not sure if you have already tried this out but maybe you could give it a go?
as for you ex being pretty and having lots of men hovering around her – EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL TO SOMEONE. you too will find your person!
a Gentleman in my workplace who is 45 has just met the love of his life this year! he said he now understands why it never worked with anyone else and hes never been happier. Age is not a time limit to finding love! keep your head high and your heart open and you too will find love.
love and light
Christie
BelleParticipantHi Dylan!
first of all, you are in good hands if you take Jasmines advice (the comment above mine) as she has been a blessing whilst ive experienced something much the same as you!
I too lost my best friend and partner, who moved on very quickly and is now with someone else. This is such a hard time for you and I know EXACTLY what you are feeling, as I too wake up feeling the same each day. I am not exactly equipt to give you the life saving advice that other may be able to provide you. But I am here for a chat if you ever need one. Sometimes it helps to talk to someone who is going through something similar, helps you realise you are most definitely not alone!
keep your head up, its a gruelling process but it DOES get better. Here if you need anything!
love and light,
ChristieBelleParticipantThank you rose tattoo, I am in so much pain. He keeps coming into my life and then changing his mind.. now ive found out he has a new girlfriend and he has told me he will never love me again, doesn’t care that he has hurt me and that I need to get out of his life 🙁 I feel so alone and heart broken. He is currently out partying as we speak and has told me I only ruin his day and too much and he has blocked me from being able to contact him at all. I am so confused.. a week ago he loved me 🙁
BelleParticipantThank you so much 🙁 it helps to know that people understand what I am going through. I feel so lonely right now and confused as to how someone who was once such a big part of my life and cared for me so much can become so cold. I will try keep my head up, I appreciate every kind word from you all.. you make a huge difference
BelleParticipantthank you so much for your kind words Jasmine. I know things will get easier, I just feel like ive lost a huge part of my life with him walking out.
I am trying to find the positives but at the moment it doesn’t appear there are any 🙁
BelleParticipantsince writing this, he has again, a third time cut me out of his life. This time he has told me he does not love me as much as I love him and he wants to move away and start a life without me in it. He has asked that I do not contact him anymore as we could never be friends after the way he has treated me. I now have no choice but to move on without him as he has cut all contact 🙁
BelleParticipantthanks so much guys, I have told him if he really really needs someone to speak to, considering I know his background I will be there to listen. but other then that id like it if he could give me the space to move on 🙁
I appreciate all of your help
BelleParticipantThank you both so much 🙁 maybe I haven’t really taken the time to deal with it properly. I am not sure but your encouragement means a lot to me xx
BelleParticipantI think you might be right Will, it is such a hard situation but i am starting to realise all contact is always initiated by me. He never contacts me or makes an effort to try and keep me in his life… maybe I should stop and see if he even notices I am gone.
I have never lost a friend like this before, it is such a horrible experience. But i am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason so I will try my best to see the lesson in this situation
thanks Will
March 31, 2014 at 7:06 pm in reply to: Jealousy- Letting go- Obsessive Thinking- and repeating the same mistake again #53894BelleParticipantHi Lynda,
I am EXACTLY the same. me and my best friend of 4 years recently started dating, he had begged me for 3 years to be with him then he broke up with me after 3 weeks and will now have nothing to do with me at all. I sent him message after message trying to explain myself and express how he was hurting me and questioning every little thing he said and done during that time. This has been going on since January and I am starting to realise now that he doesn’t see this as me trying to communicate with him (like us girls see it) he sees it as me being obsessive.
from what I have learnt in this experience its that girls are alot more emotional then boys are, we want to fix things, we want to talk about it and we show how it is effecting us (crying etc). Men are not like this and therefore do not understand why we get so upset or cant just walk away like they can. The only thing you can do is just move on, don’t contact him because no matter how good your intentions are he is most likely going to put you in the crazy basket (like most do as they don’t understand how us women think or feel)
I am currently having to do the exact same thing and it is very difficult, but like Yawlie said, it is better to heal in 6 months then 2 years and by trying to contact him you are only setting yourself up for more heart break when he doesnt respond or doesnt give you the answer you want. But for the record, you are NOT crazy, your human and there is nothing wrong with that so don’t be so hard on yourself. Lets learn from our mistakes and show those boys what they missed out on 🙂
BelleParticipantIt appears we have all suffered the same kind of experience, Luke was also very nervous when it came to being intimate and said that I intimidated him and he had issues with it. I have known him for many years and he has never had this issue with any past girlfriends as he confessed to me so I ma not sure what exactly i did that made him so nervous. maybe it was because we were such good friend before hand and the transition was awkward. One thing i have noticed out of all of this is that it has brought me much closer to my mum. I had never really been that open with her with my feeling and im starting to think maybe this was the universes way of making me open up and share how i’m feeling or seek help. Since my first post Luke has called me a few times while drunk wanting me to go and see him, for all the wrong reasons. I chose not to do this as i feel that he does not have my best interests at heart and is obviously very confused about his own needs. He did tell me he is also seeing someone else which hurt but i expected. I hope that all of us can one day find peace in the lesson the world is trying to teach us through these experiences. I know that it has most definitely made me want to work on myself, find my faith in the universe and open up more to those who are there for me and are ready to be in my life which is something id always struggled with. As much as this all hurts now and as confusing as it is, I think this is probably for the best and maybe i needed to lose Luke to find myself..
BelleParticipantThank you so much Bigsister for what you have said, Its comforting to know other who have been through the same thing have gotten through it and are now happy. Its definitely a very confusing and confronting time for me and I think threes probably a few things i can learn about myself from this. but for now Distance and time seem to be the only thing that’s going to ease this situation. I really appreciate everyone’s help on this matter! sending good vibes to you all! xx
BelleParticipantI see what you mean there Bruno, he had always told me that he loves me and it was obvious toe everyone around as well, which is what really confuses me, because why would he be so willing to leave me and lose me if he really felt that way. He has had 2 girlfriends during our friendship, both of which lasted about a year but he never truly seemed happy with them. I was in a very difficult relationship on and off for 3 years during our friendship in which i was abused and went through a lot of bad stuff and in June last year my ex ended up taking his life. My friend Luke was there for through it all and its possible I was not ready to be in a relationship and maybe that showed. I have a lot to think about thats for sure. but unfortunately for now it appears I have lost him and distance is the only option 🙁
BelleParticipantYeah I will do that! I think I have said everything I possible could to him anyway but it didn’t help anything. I am not so upset about the relationship being over, more so losing him as a friend. Thanks so much!
BelleParticipantI think you might be right there, he said that ” I didn’t meet his expectations” its a very hard situation though because we were so close and I feel so lost without him. I have recently blocked him on everything to try an distance myself from the situation because it is really effecting me and making my anxiety really bad. I guess its time to accept our friendship was built on how he felt about me and move on! 🙁
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