Wow. That is a really intense situation.

First of all, I want to tell you that you are so brave. I cannot imagine how unsafe and exhausted you must feel from dealing with that situation. I also want you to know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are completely whole, perfect, valuable, and worthy. It is your family who is greatly dysfunctional and perhaps even mentally ill. You do not deserve this whatsoever.

And now, my most important piece of advice : YOU NEED TO LEAVE.

We already know you are existing within an extremely toxic environment that is draining you on many levels. It’s time for you to go.

My next question is, do you have the resources to do so? Do you have support from anyone in your life who can help you? Could you go and live with a friend while you get grounded and heal? Are there any study abroad programs that begin soon you could transition into? Some other suggestions are Workaways.info, WOOFing, and jobs that have lodging included (can be temporary).

What I would suggest you do is make an exit plan. Are you safe? No. Then go somewhere where you are safe. Do your parents + brother make you feel/put you in physical, psychological, and emotional danger? Yes. Then they should not be told of your plan.

Strategize, make decisions, get out of there (and all of your things) as soon as possible. The day you leave you could bring several friends or trusted individuals that will stand with you & move your things out if it comes down to that. Do whatever you can to get out from under their control and never look back.

If only I lived in your country. I would invite you to stay with me for as long as you needed. I know what it is like to feel unsafe in your family home. I can only offer my support and solidarity with you. You can do this!! You are capable!! You have the power! GO and make EMPOWERING DECISIONS. I 100% believe in you!

Please keep us updated and feel free to reach out at any time! I would be so happy to help you make a plan or talk you through things if you need support. My email is chocolatecake88811@gmail.com and my name is Christine. 🙂