Hi Anita

Just wanted to say thanks for all your insights. It has really helped me figure out what i have been feeling. At least now i know what i have to deal with. I will encourage him to go and see her for sure and i will try and stop overthinking things.

Hi Anita

Thank you for your insight. I have honestly never looked at it that way before but what you said it makes a lot of sense. Is there anyway i can do to stop myself from self sabotaging? I really do not want to feel what i feel towards my fiances grandma as i can see in the long run it wouldnt be good for our relationship. 

Hi Jan

Thank you for the response! Yes I’m so glad to have found a good relationship with my fiance, before I met him I was a mess I had no direction in life I just wanted to travel and runaway. My fiance knows everything and he is very supportive, we have both decided to settle here as he made a very good point saying if we move elsewhere and start a family it means no family for both of us so at least here we have his family to look after the child or just spend time with it. You are absolutely right, I need to try my best and just make the best out of whatever i have.

One thing I didn’t mention is my fiance is very close to his grandma, he sees her quite often. We are a 15 minute drive away from her and often times she would ask him to go and do stuff for her which I know I shouldn’t be annoyed but it’s too much sometimes. An example would be turning on a laptop, she just needs to press a button and yet she asked him to go and do it for her. I did express all of this to my fiance and he told me he will tell them to back off a bit but I feel bad and I don’t want to upset his grandma as she is also so very nice to me . Most of our arguments is because of her and I don’t know how I should deal with it. When we first moved here we saw her at least twice a week and after my work sometimes we would go up to her house to do stuff for her and after a while it took a toll on me where I spoke to my fiance and he understood. Its been better but everytime she texts him or calls him I get a little bit annoyed/paranoid because she might go and ask him to go to hers. She also has a lot of opinions for our wedding but my fiance has told her it’s our wedding not hers so she has calmed down a bit. She has paid for a part of it so this is me now again feeling bad because i feel like i owe her something.. i dont know maybe im losing my mind?!

I’m not sure I’m feeling like this maybe because I wasn’t as close as he is to my family? Im so used to doing my own thing and my family let’s me do whatever it is that makes me happy. They would text me once in a while but not everyday which i’m totally happy with. I really feel bad about feeling this way towards my fiances grandma because i know she doesn’t mean bad but yeah..

Thanks for listening

Iris