Hi Trevor, the idea of chastity rings is an interesting one.
My guess the best thing to do is talk to the girl and have no expectations of what she may or not be like- you might be surprised. Chastity rings are a lucrative thing and I have not had any experience of meeting someone with one. Certainly I understand your worries about how she *could be* but she equally could not be like how you think. Equally the same could be with the more fun girl- who knows she could be just as kind and caring too?

Just get to know them both- without the labels of religion/ past experiences of sexually liberated girls. In regards to the girl with chastity ring, intimacy can be founded in many other ways other than sex- but worry about that later on down the line. Just be yourself and do not worry about all the thoughts that may entail 🙂

Sex is ultimately an energy- not the act of sex- and a very powerful thing indeed. Being able to own yourself sexually and know who you are is more important than what other’s may enforce on you 🙂

I’ll tell you this because I myself am in the middle of a scale for religious, I do have religion. I have chosen to have sex after marriage. Not to say if I do have sex before marriage it will be because I feel ready and am comfortable with it and my partner. I do I believe in intimacy in other forms in a relationship, I believe in exploring each other in different ways and am fascinated by sexual spirituality (not to mention I am open to dominance and submission, shibari etc.- I also work for a fetish lingerie company who’d think? :P)

The ultimate answer would be I would not want to choose one over the other, everyone is unique in their own way and have their own story that shapes them to be who they are. I’d give both of them a chance and not worry about where it could go and just enjoy the experience of learning about someone/ something different. We come in contact with all sorts of people in our lives so that our views can change and that we learn something valuable about ourselves. I hope this answers some form of your question!

It’s no problem 🙂 With the very little I am learning about myself I want to assist those who need that little reassurance 🙂
Anxiety can be beaten! And Im so grateful you have found some of my advice useful. Merry Christmas to you as well and Happy New Year sending you plenty of hugs and love!

Hi I was you last year and you yet again this year (with different circumstances).
I came from a family that discouraged similar things in working abroad as a teacher, but to get over it I went and tested the waters beforehand by doing small 1 week teaching options in and around Europe (I live in the UK). For you to get over that initial fear, and to send a clear message to your parents and family, I would advise going to a different part of your country and doing some kind of short course support teaching.

I want to remind you that our limitations are in our mind, and other people’s words are just what they are – words. It took a year of depression to realise that I have control over my future and choices if I just made those decisions. Family may put you down but its because they are frightened too. They too have put themselves under limitations, and seeing you take a brave step frightens them. But its okay to be a little frightened yourself, but as long as you are excited for the road ahead.

Try this, sit with your feelings, listen to them and for every thought that holds you back counter it with a good thought so for example: I am so confused= “I have multiple paths I can take in my life and I am lucky”
I am too scared= “I can do this. I am brave. I have made brave decisions before”

What I call this is to “make yourself uncomfortable by being kind to yourself” we are used to being so critical of ourselves and this man-made idea of quarter-life crisis is to reinforce that self-criticism and self-loathing. These ‘crises’ are just to remind you that you are not complying with societies observations of where you should be and my advice is to ignore them. It’s okay to be where you are. We are all on different journeys and to be sound with yours is the first step to compassion.

I too am 24, I moved abroad last year to teach, circumstances didn’t work out, I became depressed and came home. For a whole year I was beating myself up for not being at a certain place, for not having a job, for being depressed and- let’s just say I was very very unkind to myself and treated myself badly. It was a year of bad feelings towards myself and a breakup with my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago to realise how much I had let my mind control my thoughts, how much I allowed everyone else to control my path and how much I was disrupting my own ‘flow’ in life. Now I am taking small sturdy steps to get there again and its on my terms. I have to trust myself, other people and the family you are around cannot be changed but the one person in control of you is YOU. You can command that change!

Listen to yourself. Listen to your body- not the negative mind- and make yourself uncomfortable by being kind to yourself. Trust that you are where you want to be because coming to these boards for this advice shows something fantastic- you are reaching out for that help! 🙂 You are getting ready to take those steps, be proud of yourself, I am of you 🙂

Namaste 🙂

• This reply was modified 9 years, 12 months ago by CherryTea.