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CherisseParticipantHi everyone,
To whomever is reading, I woke up today realizing that when he consented to this arranged marriage, it’s like he got engaged. With that idea in mind, I realized that pursuing any sort of relationship or having any more feelings towards someone who is engaged is practically like having an affair. I would never want that to happen to me if I was engaged and would never want that to happen to anyone. So with this realization, I somehow felt a big release of emotion. I am not gonna be a homewrecker. I am so much more than that. Remember. He consented to this. He now made a commitment to marriage. Marriage is a sacred thing and must fully be honored. No matter if they say “I am forced to this”, no. We cannot accept this. We need to realize that this is an affair that we will be having if we continue any contact with them or even have any sort of feelings towards them! This is all equal to the westerner’s infidelity don’t you think? It’s so not worth it. We were always “the other woman” even if it seemed like we were not. No way will I ever settle for that.
CherisseParticipantThere is no logic in this. Only culture and tradition. I question how much indian people really love their children. Or what their idea of love is. Sure the divorce rate in this country is low but how about their socio-economic situations? Could it be that the way that these people are forced to follow traditions be a major contributor to this? I have a lot of questions about this country and I am truly inspired to dig deeper into the issues.
My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago because I pressured him to tell his parents about us. We were together 7 months. He would tell me that he loved me and would fight to be with me if they tried to arrange him but I can sense fear in him whenever this topic would come. I needed to know the truth about what would really happen because I couldn’t bare the thought of being together longer only to have him leave me if he couldn’t really fight. Sadly, I was right. I am deeply devastated and broken hearted. I feel this is an injustice to human beings in general. To them, it is normal and they accept this way of life. To me, it is betrayal, irresponsible, and can cause someone’s future or even their life. I can see that these men are raised to be the perfect men to be your life partner which can create an illusion for us women who are mere victims to their character.
I currently have a love/hate curiosity for this country and I am in the process of finding my higher purpose in life as a result of this experience. I will forgive because I do not understand and I doubt I ever will. I just don’t want to waste my time trying to understand a country I am not raised in. Instead, I will learn to love a country that has raised children who show us love and deep heartache all at once. I truly want to adopt a child from this country and raise him to change this culture if possible. This is to help stop this injustice I feel. That’s just an idea. I have many more but I think I have written enough for now.
I’m sorry for all your losses. All of you that went through this including myself do not deserve this. I think we need to raise more awareness on this issue. I have a burning desire for this. I hope all of you can channel this heartache into a similar cause.
Sincerely,
Cherisse
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Though I run this site, it is not mine. It's ours. It's not about me. It's about us. Your stories and your wisdom are just as meaningful as mine. 