Anita,

Yes it’s a very painful thought. But I know it’s partially  my cheating since that’s the only thing he’s communicated. I think he’s suffering from some kind of trauma I cause him and still stuffing from. And I’m dealing with that.

To answer your second question, I don’t think I can do much to help him with that. I guess, right now, I feel like if he’s still around he might have some realization that he doesn’t need to go. I guess I feel like if he’s still around there’s  still hope that he’ll stay.

Hello everyone.

I just want to apologize for late responses I’m still dealing with this on a daily basis. But I do want to thank everyone that’s commented. I think this has helped me so much.

I don’t think it’s so much of a “guilt trip”, I think it’s more remorse and A hope and wish things can change. Especially when I’m only receiving partial information for him it’s easy to make up a dialogue on my own. I did find very good resources at AffairRecovery.com. I’m now understanding this more from his perspective. But now the hardest part is understanding that I just need to let him do what he needs to do.

With that said, it isn’t an easy task. It’s not easy to let something or someone you love go, especially when you know your losing something amazing. I don’t want another person or an relationship, I want him and him only. But it’s really hard dealing with the fact that it might never be.

I think I left out some crucial information in my Initial post. I’ve been with my partner since I was 16 years old I’m now in my 30s. When I cheating I was in my early 20s. So I’m starting to understand that I wasn’t mature enough or ready to have such a serious relationship. It’s not because I wanted to hurt my partner it’s just I didn’t know how to communicate what I wanted and ended up being unfaithful.  We have a teenage son and We’ve never been without him.

Hello Anita,

Not really. Its very complicated which is why I am a bit confused. He will sleep in my bed but its almost like if we were just close friends, no intimacy or sex coming from him. But gets moody if I ask him to sleep else where. Very conflicting actions.