Thanks for the reply:) I have a Dr appointment Fri and will tell her I need to try something.. I did really well recently, gratitude lists etc and was feeling great about myself. And when I talk to therapist I start to feel great and there is nothing left to talk about.. Then it comes out of no where. And once I get in my rut I don’t have the energy or can’t think clearly enough to get out.

Hi Anita,
Thank you for your reply. When I was young I got made fun of for being fat and ugly. At some point I developed social anxiety. I would never talk to people at my first couple jobs. I’ve never had many friends. No long term relationships.
I Self medicated with drugs and alcohol for around 10 years. First bf physically and emotional abusive.
I hardly drink anymore unless I know I’m not depressed because it intensifies it. I don’t do drugs anymore either. Low self esteem from my last boyfriend.. I’m still not over him, even though I deserve better. But it sucks to lose the person I feel so comfortable with.

That totally makes sense. Thank you so much, I don’t really have anyone I want to talk about this stuff with,and that is why I talk to him. But he doesn’t say much helpful.. when I do talk about it with someone else everything makes sense.

We are trying to stay friends but some days I sit around stuck thinking about him, txting him about how depressed I am. I feel so pathetic, should I not stay in touch with him for now?