LJ,

I hope it works for you. Be firm, but loving. It is, after all, a piece of who you are. I know that seems odd, but it really feels that way. This aspect of myself developed during a time in which my world was unsteady and I felt alone and unsafe. So, when I have to say no, I say it with understanding but firmly. There is no room for discussion.

As I type this, I am dealing with something that typically sets off my anxiety something terrible: heart palpitations. This is an area where saying no is rough, because each time I feel my heart flutter or thump, I attempt to tell myself something to make me feel better. My fear is that I am going to die. So then I try to come up with reasons they may be happening and start googling possibilities.

No. No. No. NO.

Tonight is challenging, however I am just going to be present and experience my emotions as best as I can.

Celine

Well, the first day was exhilarating.  This day is already testing my patience.  Landlord called, said the rent was late.  School nurse called, daughter was kicked in the mouth and a tooth is dangling.

I had to say “No” very loudly several times when I felt my stomach acid churning and my heart rate shoot through the roof.  Then I had to do a self check:  Are either one of these situations ones that should cause me complete panic?  After a few minutes and some deep breaths, I realized that nothing was deserving of my usual fight or flight response. I could hear a little voice inside of me take control and say:

Celine…just call the dentist and see if you can get the little one in for a check up, and call the landlord and find out where the check went to.

Turns out, the landlord is out of town (hadn’t seen the mail yet), and the loose tooth is just a baby tooth.  Going to fall out anyway, and there was no major damage done.  So yeah, anxiety not warranted.

It’s not even noon yet.  Bring it on!