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DAVID ROGER KATES

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  • in reply to: Dating a heartbroken man who is pulling away #152646
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    Has he told you that hes heartbroken?  It might well be that he feels less for you, but there is considerably more often than not imbalance here irrespective of being heartbroken.  Id suggest that most whom are genuinely heartbroken are incapable of making inroads on a relationship, and generally want no more than supportive friends.  They tend to being emotionally vulnerable however, so the door would likely be open from this direction.

    in reply to: Dating a heartbroken man who is pulling away #152466
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    Elana, so you mean by not given freely that it is faked, or mimicked? Perhaps just provide the imbalance for a short time, that would be my position on it, and in order to test whether your unconditional nature is present with them.  Sometimes an imbalance might be required in order to support a sole that has had too much taken from them in past life.  Bare in mind though, where emotion plays a part significant imbalance tends to hurt.  Hurting a little many times likely tends towards being character strengthening, but a few times considerably more likely character undermining.

    in reply to: Am i holding myself back? #150007
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    What we know/think that we know about ourselves forms a key component to our personal reality.  Beyond mere reality, “what actually is,” of course owes nothing to our reality/our perception.  Philosophers must examine the world from the outside in, so to one side of their personal perception, but it should be enough for most of us to accept perception, to accept what is real to us, and never to think beyond that.  There is no definitive measure for us to apply when trying to quantify how well we measure up, it`s perceptual only – Those that measure up the best are those that love themselves the most.

    in reply to: Dating a heartbroken man who is pulling away #145249
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    I’m male and I function reverse wise so I’m not sure I’d quite consider such a tactic as being a philosophical affirmation.   I believe it is both dependant upon the individual male, and his/their actual circumstances.  Younger men taking an interest in you often does no harm in the right hands.  Training harder, and living healthier, this tends to be positive.   Ignore him too much and he might even lose interest/decide that your relationship isn’t satisfactory, so it’s high risk playing around there.

    • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Joshua Denney. Reason: removed code causing display issue
    • This reply was modified 7 years, 6 months ago by Joshua Denney. Reason: removed code causing display issue
    in reply to: His porn habit is hurting me #145221
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    I disagree that there is necessarily a need to break the addiction, for to break the addiction may cause him to lust after situations which he can act upon, and go on to act upon them.  You would then have yourself to blame for this.

    in reply to: His porn habit is hurting me #145107
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    Love is nt sex, or if it is its merely errotic love, youd know the difference.  I do nt personally indulge as I consider it inappropriate to the way in which I wish to love.  Regular romantic love obviously  has a strong sexual contingent, and romantic love is normal.  Its also quite normal to find that which is the most attractive, this has nothing to do with beauty, the most attractive.  To deny that which is in this respect is an act of almost wittingly willing ones accelerated ageing.  It is a fact that we do not grow ever more sexually attractive with the passage of time, and at the same time if you genuinely love someone the priority must be in assisting them to manipulate nature in their favor.  I am only capable of physical world records through my sixties because there is no denial which I have been obliged to implement, and perhaps also because I KNOW that I`m still in my absolute prime of life.  Porn would corrupt/undo my style of love, which is spiritual romantic rather than sexual romantic.  At the same time I hanker for sex, and porn, almost as much as when back there in my teens.  I prefer to redirect these urges, perhaps more especially because my social company is predominantly teenage girls.  I run a sanctuary for them from my home.  Even in their teens I only find about one in every fifty, or so, sexually attractive, so I do understand why it is that some of us kind it necessary to supplement with porn.

    in reply to: Dating a heartbroken man who is pulling away #144545
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    Absolutely talk to him about that relationship whenever he should bring the subject up.  If he is n`t quite over her running away fro that/being in denial of that fact always makes it far worse.  Provision of support where it is most needed is the route to enduring relationships, and it is also the place of genuine love.

    in reply to: Dating a heartbroken man who is pulling away #139259
    DAVID ROGER KATES
    Participant

    I do n`t think that you required any help, just confidence perhaps.  Nobody is perfect, we are all only a product of past experience.  We all have old tapes containing past experience replaying in our heads, and most of us can be perfect when we are not even being tested.

Viewing 8 posts - 1 through 8 (of 8 total)