Hey
Have read your story n I am smiling thinking of my situation a year ago… I was in love with my best friend . i couldnt tell because we are so different. He has no goals in life etc. However i couldn’t suffer anymore n told hm. But he said it was not possible beacause in the end he will hurt me. i had most difficult situation in my life. I couldn’t accept his ignorance and the same time didn’t want to lose him as a friend. Then i held strong cz he was soo important to me. after 4-5 months he said he loves me n wants a relationship. when i asked why he said that he needed someone n my determination to love him compelled him to love me.
I was flying thinking i have got him, most amazing thing has happened in my life. we were planning our future together. But after 3 months he started to make distance. it was a hard time i didnt understand what was happening n he too was not clear. then he said that he cant keep up the relation because he wants to be free, he doesnt want binding.
i was again broken. But this time it was tougher as i felt insulted n didnt know what to do. i wold say i hold on him and tried to make everything work. I told him that it will be okay. but he insisted that he wont look behind n said to choose my way in life.
i was so depressed that i deactivated my Fb account n didnt contact him till now. i thought my life n I am worthless. however selp-help articles n tinybuddha has helped me alot.
now i am good by myself. I understand he had problems. i love those moments with him n i love him. But i choose not to hurt myself anymore. If he is Okay , I can also be good. though I hope he comes back.. if not thats okay too 🙂
just wanna tell you that in life we feel like dying thee’s nowhere or no one to help or understand. But the fact is its just time n some emotions. i loved him n got him n again lost him…. No regrets! i have done my best may be.
so please love yourself n dont push hard. Beautiful things happen in life.Either he loves you back or not , be happy within yourself.

Hey SN,
Really appreciate your initiative. Just hold on your self.I too fear a lot n those come true. So I understand. Enjoy life as it is.
love.