Elle

Hi I know it’s been a while, but as i read your story i couldn’t help but connect. i recently in fact 3 days ago, just broke up with my boyfriend of eight months. our relationship was perfect, he was perfect and honestly i was happy but not in the way i wanted to be. As dumb as it sounds i wanted to feel free and i felt like i couldn’t get that if i was with him despite him always supporting what i wanted to do. i felt like i had outgrown the relationship, and i just couldn’t picture him in my future and i knew that he deserved to be with someone who wanted what he wanted, a future. so i broke up with him. i think it’s safe to say i not only blindsided him but myself too. i didn’t even plan to do it i just did.  i barley understood what i was doing it felt like i had just shattered everything to pieces in a matter of seconds. i wanted to die.

now the part where the story differs is my age i’m 16, and he was my first relationship and my first love. now all i can feel is regret and sadness, not only do i not know how to handle a break up in general let alone one i’m already regretting. he was a great person and i really did love him and it hurts me so bad to see how much i hurt him. every night i lay awake in bed missing him and all the little things we did. our breakup was so sudden and i keep wishing i never broke up with him and we could just be happy together. i know young first relationships almost never last forever and i’ll find someone new eventually but i really truly love him and i am in so much pain thinking i just threw away the most perfect relationship id ever have. so please just anybody tell me i will be ok that this will pass, because i just wanna feel happy again.