Dear Anita,

sorry for not replying to your answer, totally overlooked it 🙁

To your first reply: Yes I agree with you, and that´s another reason I am pretty sure now that I do NOT want to give it another try. I don´t feel like it is going to work out and as you said I don´t want to make him go through that again.
I really think its for the best for both of us, as hurtful as it may seem right now.

And to your second response: Thank you so much for saying this. It really made my day. 🙂
I know that I am pretty grown up for my age when it comes to making life decisions and just in general.
With being childish i meant being silly, playful, that kind of childish.
But as you said, I am VERY other-concerned and always put others feelings in the first place. That´s the reason I had such a hard time breaking up with him. Because i knew it would tear him apart.
But I also know that I have to put me in the first place. I know its the best.

Thank you for replying and giving me advice! And also making me feel better about myself.

-Katrina

Hi Nina,

thanks for taking your time and reading my story.

1) I became more distant, wanted more alone time. I´ve always been a loner, but i could feel that i stopped caring if i was with him or not. I wasn´t excited to see him anymore. He would text me and it would take me an hour to reply because I was busy doing other things and not really caring about texting back. For example.
He also told me multiple times that he has the feeling that i became a lot more distant and he feels pushed away.
And in my opinion in a good relationship you are always happy to see your partner, don´t want to say goodbye.

2) Well kinda. As I mentioned he never wanted kids for example. That was a point where we kinda collided.
It just seems like he is ready to settle down with me. The age gap could be the issue.
While he is in his early 30s and straight edge (in case you don´t know: no drugs, no drinking, no smoking) I am about to wanting to go out, have fun, have a drink or two. Enjoy life. And I am not saying I want to force him to go out and drink with me. No. But he never cared about people. He´s a loner himself. He´d rather have dinner together with me. Which is nice. But I want more, you know?
I will never be one of those “party chicks”, but I am sure I will be wanting to have fun, meet people. I want a social life, that i unfortunately don´t really have. I moved last year and it´s kinda hard for me. But he´s just totally different. Doesn´t need friends.

3) To be honest, i really don´t know. It´s hard and there´s no right and wrong. Try to listen to your heart. But also think logical. Will it make sense to get back together? What would you miss? Why would you want him back?

4) That is the question i´ve been asking myself. I know love is very very strong. But it needs two partners to work. I know he loves me so so much. But I don´t think i feel the same. So I feel like I would be forcing myself to love him, you know what I mean? And one day I would end up having to hurt him again.
I still feel miserable. Of course I still have feelings for him. Theyre not just gone overnight. Just not the feelings i am supposed to have. Not the feelings he has for me.

They do like him, especially because they saw what he did for me
But they also saw the huge difference between his and my personality.
Said he is grumpy and in a bad mood very often.
But I haven´t told anybody about the breakup yet. Maybe I will hear more about theyre opinion.

-Katrina