Hi TeaK,

My image of myself has changed and I don’t feel my quirks or personality is something I should be ashamed of. I do water down my personality in front of people because it takes a while for me to warm up enough to be myself completely, but I don’t believe it’s a bad thing.

I feel unappreciated because my personality is not being appreciated in the same way it was when I was with my ex. I do appreciate myself and I accept my personality as it is, but I still feel unappreciated and I’m not exactly sure why.

The other people are just classmates or mutual friends that I’m not super close to but we know each other. Now that I think about it, I’m not sure why I care about their opinion. Because we aren’t even close, but I still care about the way they perceive me.

Hi TeaK,

By bad sides, I meant things I struggled with or things most people did not like about me.

For example, I was very weird and awkward. When I would tell him that I’m too awkward, he said he liked the “awkwardness” and “weirdness” about me. It took a while for me to warm up to him but when I did, I embraced my weird quirks and he liked it. When I would act that way in front of other people, they did not like it so I felt the need to hide that part of me. That’s what I meant by “bad sides” of me.

I also told him about the fact that I’m socially anxious, and quiet. (BTW. I don’t consider being quiet a bad thing anymore.) He would tell me he likes that part of me because he enjoys my presence and I speak when I want to. Also, he did support me whenever I would tell him I did something out of my comfort zone and fight back my anxiety. So he appreciated my bad sides, but also encouraged me to be my true self and fight back my anxiety.

I’m not sure if my family/friends didn’t appreciate those parts of me that I consider to be bad.

Hi TeaK,

I don’t own any pets but I am such an animal person, I have lots of stuffed animals and cartoon idol shows that I watch when I feel upset.

Thank you for all the suggestions I signed up for the free mental health courses and found many resources online as well as a support group.

I talked to my mother about this and she told me that it was unintentional because she did not know what anxiety even was until I had told her about it. I’m also reading the book you mentioned right now.

Thank you for responding and supporting me TeaK. I just have one question, do I need professional aid to manage my anxiety? By professional aid, I mean a therapist or counselor. Because when I had counseling at school, they would always tell me to go visit a therapist and once I did, it was too expensive and not beneficial for me. Do you think it’s possible for me to manage my anxiety by myself and without visiting a therapist?

Hi TeaK,

I’ve watched Therapy In A Nutshell and many other anxiety videos too! Do you have any book recommendations because I enjoy reading self help books.

I think dealing with my anxiety alone is very scary. I don’t know who to talk to about this and who to ask for help when needed. I just feel very tired because I thought my anxiety was getting better but I feel a little lost again. I react out of anger because deep down I’m sad and afraid. I feel alone when I have to reassure myself, it feels scary. Thank you for talking to me about this I greatly appreciate it. I’m just afraid because I feel like I’m alone.

Hi TeaK,

I agree she didn’t know better. I have 2 older siblings and I’m the youngest. My older siblings are one year apart so they had each other for support. I am the youngest and my parents decided that when I was born they would parent me better and I was the closest to my mother. My siblings grew up afraid because my father was strict and would yell a lot. My father didn’t yell at me as much but I learned to stand up for myself because of it.

Honestly, I was given the most attention out of my siblings because I was the youngest and my parents wanted me to have a happy childhood.

Hi TeaK,

My mother knew about the bullying from the girl but she did not do much she just gave me advice on how to handle it. Only my mother knew about the bullying in the 6th grade.

Hi TeaK,

I’m not sure if this was shyness or anxiety but in the Fourth grade (I was 9) my group partner had accidentally cut open his finger from velcro and was bleeding. I was too afraid to ask him if he needed a bandaid or if I could go tell a teacher. This is the earliest memory.

In the fifth grade (I was 10), I was very shy and anxious. My teacher would always pick on me to answer in class (she would specifically pick on me because she thought I was shy and wanted me to get out of my shell) and I would get extreme anxiety. My anxiety was at its peak during that time, so I would skip school so I didn’t have to deal with that. I also had no friends in that class.

In grade 6 I made a plan to make friends in my class, I did talk to people but I realized no one was interested in me. Until a new student came along and I talked to her and we became friends. A girl came between us and we had our own friend group. But that girl was making the new girl her best friend and she eventually formed a friend group that I was apart of but I wasn’t getting treated fairly by the girl. She bullied me and I felt alone. Near the end of the year I finally stood up for myself. I told them that they were being rude, I was so loud about it and then I ran away and cried.

In 7th grade I reunited with my old friends and made a new best friend too. I was coming out of my shell and I remember not being very shy and anxious. This continued on into the 8th grade. But I was getting bullied and teased by boys in the other classes for my appearance.

In highschool I was very shy and anxious, I had trouble making friends so I mostly kept in touch with my old friends. I only made two friends in highschool, one of them being my ex.

I experience anxiety most days. Today I went grocery shopping and had major anxiety that I would bump into my ex. I also experience intrusive thoughts every single day. As well as existential anxiety and thoughts.

I’m just not sure what to do about it anymore.