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camiParticipant
Hey Diletta,
Yes, changing certain behavior can be challenging.Ā I agree, I should try one step a at time.. everything is already too overwhelming.
Thank you for your kind words and advice!
Michelle,
Thank you.Ā
I admit I have difficulty on giving myself any credit.
Iām glad I decided to post here, I actually had never heard of this blog before. I want to take the time to read other posts and even help any one I can in the forums. I havenāt had much time this week, but hopefully Iām able to explore more over the weekend.
Itās funny you mentioned the email. I actually sent him an email last night talking about our relationship and thanking him for what heās done for us so far.
I would really like to sent him letter but unfortunately he canāt receive mail there.
Iām afraid I canāt help with the refunds as everything is under his name. Heās having a hard time with it but he is working with his command to get government documents to prove there was a good cause for cancelling the trip.
Exactly. The English test will help me a lot in the future so I will take the time to focus on that.
I think in a month or so we will find out his next post, then I will be able to do some research on the location, possible jobs, etc.
Anita,
Iāve realized I spent a lot of time complaining this week and none of these complaints are going to change the facts, so I am working on that at the moment.Ā
So one of my main goals is to give him less stress than he already has.
It wonāt make me feel better and it will only make him feel worse.
My only fear is to lose him, so you are totally right about that.
I would like to thank you all one more time.
I am most of the time aware of all these things but when it comes to actually doing them,Ā I get stuck.
Iāve realized that writing these posts, reading them to myself helps better than just āthinking about itā, and receiving advice from different perspectives (especially from people I donāt know) has helped me a lot.
Tomorrow (Saturday for me) is my birthday and I have been really depressed that he wonāt be here to celebrate with me, nor next week as he was supposed to.Ā
Instead of feeling miserable, I plan to do one of my favorite things: watch a good TV show and eat some good food.Ā
As an introvert, I quite like to spend time alone. But I also have planned to go out with some of my colleagues which I hope will be a good time.
Iāll let you know how are things are going soon.. I hope you guys have a good weekend!
Camila
camiParticipantHey Diletta,
Yes, changing certain behaviors can be challenging.
I agree, I should try one step a at time.. everything is already too overwhelming.
I will try to focus on our future together.
Thank you for your kind words and advice.
Michelle,
Thank you.
I admit I have difficulty on giving myself any credit.
Iām glad I decided to post here, I actually had never heard of this blog before. I want to take the time to read other posts and even help any one I can in the forums. I havenāt had much time this week, but hopefully Iām able to explore more over the weekend.
Itās funny you mentioned the email. I actually sent him an email last night talking about our relationship and thanking him for what heās done for us so far.
I would really like to sent him letter but unfortunately he canāt receive mail there.
Iām afraid I canāt help with the refunds as everything is under his name. Heās having a hard time with it but he is working with his command to get government documents to prove there was a good cause for cancelling the trip.
Exactly. The English test will help me a lot in the future so I will take the time to focus on that.
I think in a month or so we will find out his next post, then I will be able to do some research on the location, possible jobs, etc.
Anita,
Iāve realized I spent a lot of time complaining this week and none of these complaints are going to change the facts, so I am working on that at the moment.
So one of my main goals is to give him less stress than he already has.
It wonāt make me feel better and it will only make him feel worse.
My only fear is to lose him, so you are totally right about that.
I would like to thank you all one more time.
I am most of the time aware of all these things but when it comes to actually doing them, I get stuck.
Iāve realized that writing these posts, reading them to myself helps better than just āthinking about itā, and receiving advice from different perspectives (especially from people I donāt know) has helped me a lot.
Tomorrow (Saturday for me) is my birthday and I have been really depressed that he wonāt be here to celebrate with me, nor next week as he was supposed to.
Instead of feeling miserable, I plan to do one of my favorite things: watch a good TV show and eat some good food.
As an introvert, I love like to spend time alone.
But I also have planned to go out with some of my colleagues which I hope will be a good time.
Iāll let you know how are things are going soon.. I hope you guys have a good weekend!
Camila
- This reply was modified 5 years, 4 months ago by cami.
camiParticipantMichelle / Anita,
You are right, I am very attached to him emotionally.
I have never had much support from my family and had been struggling and had built walls for years (since I left home at 17).Ā So heās been the only person able to break these walls, and now I feel like my emotions overflow.
I should take this time to practice being okay, I agree.
I seem to keep failing though.
I have 2 jobs and I work 6 days a week. I donāt have so much free time.
My plan was to study for TOEFL on the free time I have, but I always end up not doing anything because Iām depressed.Ā
I feel like I am doing that, Iām wasting all the time we have to talk, complaining and trying to make myself feel better.
That seems so selfish of meā¦ I always get caught up in the moment and sometimes I get even more stressed because his internet connection is so bad that we canāt video call or even call sometimes.
The reason I donāt go there is that he is on MSG program of the military.Ā
Basically his job is his priority at all times during this contract. I wouldnāt be able to stay or spend much time with him and he wouldnāt be able to stay in a different place with me either, especially being in a more dangerous country.Ā
I’m going to try my best to follow your advice otherwise I will only make things worse.
I hope I can try and focus more on studying for the English test I want to take.
He is working on getting the refunds for those things, I really hope he does so it doesn’t ruin our vacation when we actually get one.
Things I cannot change:
– His leave getting cancel is out of our control
– it might take a few months more to see each other
Things I can change:
– my perspective on these situations
– remember how lucky I am to have him dealing with all my depression and worries and never giving up on us
– be more considerate of his feelings and not only focus on mine
Do you have any other items to my list or how I tips on how I can actually achieve them?
Thank you again, it means a lot.
Camila
camiParticipantAnita and Michelle,
Thank you so much for taking the time to read and reply.
You are right, none of this is his faultā¦
I try to be loving but somehow my moods keep switching.
Heās my best friend and basically the only person I trust, so I feel bad because I do worry and bring a lot of stressā¦
I try to think in a positive way, that I can take this time to work/focus on myself, study, then not long after that I go back to feeling miserable and depressed.
Iām feeling a lot of anger, if we donāt get a refund for those things we had already booked, we probably wonāt get a vacation, I also havenāt seen him in 5 months, itās awful.
He didnāt have a choice of staying with me, or me going with him because of his contract.
So our options were either to break up or survive this year apart.
I canāt afford losing him.
I do agree with everything you said, I need to be stronger and stay calm in these situations..
I have just been having a really hard time controlling my emotions, especially not knowing when Iāll see him.
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