Dear Anita,

what a good idea!

I won an award once, and I have to do a speech. They asked me who my role model is or who inspires me. I said my mother, and I talked a lot about how my mother is the reason why I won the award because she has motivated me so much and has made me live up to my potential and make the most of myself. My mom was very happy about this.

My mom was happy when my dance team won a competition, she said that we did a very good job, and that it is good we had so much fun.

My mom gets happy when I make plans to go to peoples houses. Or I do things that make it easier for her, such as make sure that all of us hang out at my friends house, and we have a ride to get there, instead of burdening her with everyone over our house and her having to drive me somewhere. She doesn’t mind driving me places sometimes, but other times it is too much for her.She is happy when I have plans to occupy myself. She worries a lot that during summer vacation, it is so long, and I will get very lonely. She always talks about how our summer vacations are too long, and it is tough for parents to entertain their kids this whole time. She said that the mother should complain to the schools about having such a long vacation. So if I have good plans with friends during that time she is happy.

I feel happy that I made her happy. I am glad I did a good thing to see her happy. She deserves it because so much bad happens for her. So I am glad when she feels that way

dear anita,

my mother is sometimes happy, because then she thinks – wow look good things happen to us too!

sometimes she doesn’t care becuause now she wants something else

Dear Anita,

his habit you mentioned, your mother going “on and on about how some lucky kid will end up on TV zone day and not me”- when you  have the time, will you type away what she said, not verbatim if you don’t remember word by word, of course, but let your fingers type what she said. And then, when you are done, will you type what you said to that couple going to Florida?

Part one:

my mother would say, oh look at our neighbor she’s pretty. she’s white and her mom brings her to auditions. you know that? every saturday she goes to nyc for auditions, how amazing, she’s going to be on tv one day.

it is hard for me to explain it with words, but I want to explain it by creating the ambience/painting the picture:

my mother is sitting there with me, I am wide eyes and intensely listening.  she is painting this picture, this caucasian neighbor, young girl my age, sitting at home in the lap of privilege – so lucky she is, getting whisked away to nyc auditions, how glamorous how lucky.  making it on tv one day – how simple and easy! it just works for her doesn’t it! look at that

and conversely me, sitting at home in despair, looking out the window – hoping and dreaming and wishing – oh if only! if only i could be so lucky like my neighbor. but alas, I can not, I do not have this luck.  it is not my fate.

part 2:

i said wow, that’s amazing you got these great jobs! i’m so happy for you -florida will be great, it is such a better place to practice medicine, and you will be so relaxed.

now, more importantly to my husband: wow look how lucky they are. nyc medicine sucks! the treatment of doctors here.  florida theyre going to have such a better life.  how good for them!!

Dear Anita,

my mom says we are not jealous of other people we are happy for them – but they aren’t happy for other people, because they are bad

sometimes I get annoyed because why do those people have good luck and get to be lucky and we don’t. Maybe just the way we are born. What a shame. Sometimes I get sad about it too

Dear Anita,

It feels bad! It feels unfair.  There is no reason others should have luck. The people who do less, and have less good, have more luck!

it makes me annoyed, but then sometimes, my dad says no matter what, we have to work hard, because we have to work hard to our potential and talent.  so i do work hard, and I make sure to always.

Dear Anita,

not me, but my sister. We didnt go when I was young because my mom didn’t know that much about America and how to do that stuff. But now she learned more. So she takes my sister. Which is good – She is very talented. An amazing dancer and singer. She brought her to some auditions in NYC. She always comes home and says how it is so hard and people with luck and connections get ahead.

She put both of us in dance classes. We love to dance. My sister is so good, and my Mom always says how she can be a star. I have fun doing it too but I’m not as serious about it. I have a lot of friends at dance class.

Dear Anita,

Well people say I am most special because I was born like a beautiful doll they say. Beautiful eyes, and light skin (indian people love light skin) and when I go to India people talk about this over and over, every single day – that I could be on TV and this and that. sometimes in India when i am walking on the street people stop my mom and tell her how beautiful I am

i think my mom thinks i am most special because of this, and because her and I always talk – she says she doesn’t have anyone else except me sometimes – and that I always give her company