Dear Anita,

Young cc-

No I don’t because we have so much fun and we always see each other at dance or different events. I never worry.

Older CC high school /20s

Yes, I think wow I shouldn’t have told her that we are going on such a lavish trip I hope she doesn’t think I’m a show off. Well I’m never a show off per se but who knows! And it’s happened to me. Girls get jealous in real life. Especially Indian girls they can be catty. I also feel like friends may forget about me because they already have so many of their own friends so if I make a new friend maybe they won’t be that into it

Dear Anita,

everyone – her sisters / my aunts. everyone she meets! like if she meets an auntie – which is the indian word for an older woman…if she meets an auntie say at a party they may make friends, but then the auntie may not call her or want to make plans.

or what happens A LOT my mom always says is that if someone comes to our house, which is nice, and maybe nicer than other people – and when they come over they ask so many questions and get weird – they get weird and jealous that our house is so nice – –and then after that they dont talk to my mom or parents. because they got so jealous by it

or if my mom is at a party she always dresses so nice and looks beautiful, sometimes her sisters wont talk to her because theyre jealous of her and how she looks so nice, and they dont.  so then my mom later says she was lonely because they all left her out

they leave her out a lot.

my dads brothers have wives, and theyre all jealous of my mom when we go to india – and they dont talk to us that much, my mom or me…those moms are bad and they tell their kids/my cousins not to talk to us nicely

Well,

I dont know what I am good at, Anita. I dont know – I don’t think about it too much

my aunts and everyone always say I am so pretty like a doll – i like to dance too I have fun doing that.

1. “she has to work all day and do all the work!”- did you try to help your mother do the housework? If you offered to help her, what did she say?

When I try to help her do the housework she says – I wont do it right and so it will lead her to do more work anyway.  Or she says I’ll do it messy and she will have to clean again so it is double work.  Then she says no one helps her.

2. “my dad doesn’t help her with housework”- were you mad at your dad for not helping her? Did you tell her to help her?

I thought it is Bad my dad doesn’t help her! my poor mom look how busy she is! maybe my dad is lazy I don’t know. I do sometimes ask her what I can do to help but not a lot, my mom wants me to play with friends and she does the work – because no one cleans as good as her

3. “she has no friends”- did you bring your friends to her so that she has friends?

well sometimes she talks to people i’m with or their moms and she gets happy.  so then she has people to talk to. but all her friends have jealousy of her, so they don’t stay friends.  thats sad right – that everyone has jealousy of my mom.

4. “these American people they have it easy.. The moms .. have fun, and don’t worry… why should they go do that and not my mom! that’s not fair!.. After all my mom went through doesn’t she deserve to relax and have fun!”- – is it fair, little Cali Chica for you to relax and have fun? Do you deserve to relax and have fun, to have it easy, like these American people?

well Anita, my mom wants me to have fun. she thinks kids should play outside with each other and have fun. not be boring like american people and stuck to themselves.  my mom likes when i do that.  i think its fun too – to play with other people. im a kid and kids are SUPPOSED to play with each other and have fun!!

Dear Anita,

well I usually play near my mom, like if she is in the kitchen i play in the living room – and so we talk together.  it kind of is at the same time, not that i stop. or sometimes i sit in the kitchen while she makes food and we talk together

Dear Anita,

Yes I do, I Remember many times.  Perhaps not 2 days in entirety but heres how it goes overall – trying not to put my adult perspective or analysis on it :

My mother wakes up early and does a ton of housework, cleaning adn this and that.  She does it meticulously and is very busy all morning.  Then I’ll eat breakfast, maybe my sister and I watch tV – and then my mom will get angry that we aren’t doing anything, but watching tV.  Before my sister, it would be me.  I would read or play.  She would say how its so sad that kids in America always play indoors alone.

Then my mom would talk on the phone maybe to her friend or a sister, they would talk about life and their husbands and stuff.

She would then talk about, to me, what everyone is doing.  This person is going on vacation with this person.  This person’s husband does this, etc.

Then when my dad gets home my mom is so happy. actually before he gets home my mom will say, don’t worry dad will be home soon – so we are excited for his arrival.

we eat when my dad comes home all together, then after wards we relax – sometimes I watch TV – sometimes no because then we all talk as a family or I go play.

dear Anita,

What else? Where else?

Hmm lets see…

Well often it may involve my sister.  I may bring my sister along with me to my friends house so my sister is not lonely at home.  My mom says its good to involve my sister so that she has company too.  Since I have a lot of friends (I am now speaking as an adolescent) then my sister can also enjoy.

My mom likes to go on vacations a lot, so she will get excited to plan one – so we will talk about that.  But then sometimes she gets stressed out from planning – saying she does everything!!!

Sometimes during summer vacation I feel like I should stay at home to spend more time with my mom, if she is lonely – if I have been at different friends all weekend.  But also at the same time – it makes my mom happy if I did that.  She always says kids should be out of the house playing and enjoying company, not sitting at home all day.

I imagine she will ALWAYS be proud, I can not imagine anything else.