Jane,
When I first started tonglen, it was very difficult and I felt worse rather than better. But right now what you might need is some boundary work. I know I take on a lot of emotional energy from other sources.
Imagine yourself in a protective bubble, surrounded by light and love. Practice compassion towards yourself first. And, Matt is right – stop watching the videos! Create the intention to focus on things that are beautiful and that create delight for you.
When you feel healthy and whole, you can be of better service to others. Good luck!
Loran