Okay. Thankyou for all the help 🙂

Thankyou all for the advice and support. All of you have adviced me to leave, and that’s what I have planned to do. I will be leaving, but not soon unfortunately. So, I want to to know how better I can handle myself and my sanity for the duration of my living with my family.

Dear Kylee,

Thank you for the empathy and understanding. Yes, I donot care anymore about them. I just want to go my own way. Yeah, I am in my twenties and yes, I am well over the age of having anyone tell me how to live my life. But, my problem is, my parents think otherwise. They consider me as a slave, an object which they own, not as a human being. So I feel imprisoned and suffocated.

Your advice of writing down goals and steps to achieve them is affective. It helps clear the clutter in my head. Thanks for that.

‘Perhaps once they see you being successful, they will come to their senses and apologize for being so hard on you.’–> This is never going to happen and I dont expect any apologies from them. I am better off away from them. Thank you once again for your support.

Dear Anita,

Thankyou for the advice. Ongoing warzone is an apt description of my situation. They did not stop at abusing me. They even went to the lengths of randomly talking shit about me to my neighbours and relatives. Relatives flocked in and out of the house for a period of time a few months back just to pick on me for ‘staying unemployed’ and for ‘helping’ me and let me know that I am doing ‘wrong’. These so called ‘relatives’ whose face I had forgotten for years as we barely saw each other, suddenly started talking about ‘family ties’ and stuff, which left me bewildered and at the same time feeling intruded. All of this happened in a flash, and had stressed me out more. When I didn’t yield to realtives, they went on and talked shit about me to neighbours. Now I just feel so emotionally raped by everyone. Do I need to focus so much on how everyone views me? Do I need to feel obliged to give a damn about their opinions?

My plan for now is to quitely apply for universities and get away. But, I don’t know how to deal witht their constant interrogation. As I have stated in my post, I have completely stopped conversing with them just to get a little peace and not be dragged into their drama. I donot want to break that now. And I dont know how to go in and out of the house without them going all crazy and interrogative. And I don’t even know how I would leave here. Will I have to sneak out in the middle of the night with all my luggage?

Dear Christine,

Thanks a lot for your empathy and validation. I needed it bad. Thanks for telling me that none of this is my fault.

‘Do you have support from anyone in your life who can help you? Could you go and live with a friend while you get grounded and heal?’ –> Unfortunately, I have nobody to whom I can turn to.

‘Are there any study abroad programs that begin soon you could transition into? Some other suggestions are Workaways.info, WOOFing, and jobs that have lodging included (can be temporary).’ –> There are a few programs available and will have to look into those which I can transition soon to. The thing is making a switch to completely another field of study is not as easy. So, I will have to find something which do not require prerequisite degree at the same time will land me a job where I can earn enough to sustain decently enough. I will have to take an educational loan as I am planning for study abroad. Educational loans in my country generally require a cosigner and I cannot ask my Dad to cosign, because that would be a way of giving him control over me. There is another option where I can take an educational loan from foreign banks, but the interest rate is high. The latter is my only option, but I wonder if its a smart decision or not. I have been looking into workaways and have been thinking of it as an alternate in case I will have to leave here all of a sudden. Thank you again for supporting me. Your words mean a lot.