Hi Anita,

Yes, that’s correct.

B

Dear Mark, Valora and Anita,

Yes, I am still in therapy, but it feels as though I’m plugging a hole in the wall of a dam with my finger. And part of me is angry and thinking, I’ve been working on myself for 4 years now! Surely I should be coping better than I am. And feeling like I’m just fundamentally damaged, broken, and no amount of trying to fix myself will work.

Thank you all again for your insights. I deeply appreciate you taking the time to reply to me as you have.

B

Dear Anita and Mark,

Thank you so much for your thoughtful responses. What you both say makes a lot of sense, and in my clearer moments I completely agree. But it’s so hard to accept that he has shown so much disregard for me having been a wonderful partner for so long. I keep imagining the blissful time he’s having now with his new girlfriend, because the early stages of our relationship were utterly blissful. And convincing myself that he’s mended his ways and he’ll treat her differently because she’s worth it and I wasn’t. I just keep going in that cycle of agreeing with what you both said and slipping back into beating myself up. I suppose all I can do is ride it out and hope that the pain lessens with time.

Bx