To some extent, it was a toxic relationship. He always had some reasons for not working out and when I decided to put my foot down, though he tried reaching me, I don’t think he made full effort..could be because of his own ego issues.
I need to take up a decision. My personal life has been in shatter since long time and this loneliness and future uncertainty does make a feel depressed.
You rightly mentioned. All the three reasons were behind this failure.

Your questions have helped me to put my thoughts in order..even since last few days, I am thinking.. even when he had a job, there were problems. So, even if he gets a job, don’t know whether issue will resolve. He always maintained that he doesn’t want me to be part of his problems. But I feel, if we want someone, we resolve the problem… I tried moving on many a times but always pulled back and now I am at fix..what to do.Emotionally, I still have that longing somewhat..

Thanks inky..really appreciate your kind words.. Today just feeling horrible. Horrible about my present situation.. I have always tried to be optimistic but there are times when can’t handle anymore.. Not sure whether he retaliated or for some other reason..his number is switched off.. Since last 4 years..I am single..he popped up once in a while and things never really worked.. I tried moving on..meeting couple of people but somewhere I still feel the sadness of loosing him.. Now it looks high time.. Don’t know whether I will ever find someone..will ever marry or not.. My all logical ability seems to be not in control.

Inky thanks for ur response..ur writing is witty 🙂

Jasmine..Thanks to u too..ur response really gave me the strength to keep going and letting go…

But, surprise that he messaged me last night after 2 months.. I replied to him but am really not putting all my energies on this now.

Thanks Jasmine for your words..

Problem is, I always got mixed signals from him.. I had accepted the breakup and was moving on but then out of the blue, he messaged twice last year.. It was kind of just.. hi.. how r u.. but i was extremely angry because I dint like that after breaking up with me, he was trying to talk.. so I did not respond positively..replied that what he wants?

For months I felt that I should speak to him..so spoke to him in march.. he called me up and we spoke at length..about everything..our breakup.. he even asked me if we cld meet.. but then suddenly he got sick and busy with work.. and this irritated me.

If he was confused about me then should have not got into those conversation.. Can people be really so confusing?

@rushlady .. perhaps you are right. Its been 20 days since my last contact and havn’t heard from him.. perhaps if I think about past, he behaved the same way. Somehow I accepted the breakup and was living my life but dn’t know why he again contacted me..Whats the point of peeking in someone’s life when you leave them.. Its been 3 yrs of separation and 5 years that I know him.

I contacted him a couple of month ago, just to say hi and know about him.. It was he, who started talking about past and meeting again. Then again he stopped.Its seriously ridiculous to behave with someone this way..

I am just feeling lost.. Not sure what to do!

Hi Anel, Thanks for your response..

I messaged him few times, tried getting the reason why he is not calling up and all that.. to which he responded, he is busy,..sick & not shifting his house.. Its been 3 weeks & no communication initiative from him… Now, he said..he is really busy with shifting and all.. He need some time & will call back.

I don’t understand whether these are genuine reasons to not contact somebody or just execuse? Even earlier, when we used to be together and things got worse later, his behaviour was same i.e. he is busy and stuck in something.. I suspect that he is just wasting my time and taking advantage of my emotions!

I don’t want to message frantically, accusing of cheating and all that.. as same things happend in the past. After the breakup and time apart, I picked myself & somehow accepted that the relationship was over. But his sporadic 2 messages, made me think about him again.. i started missing him and after almost 2 yrs, messaged him.. Now, what should I do? Should I ignore him back or again try to talk to him? Talking to him seems difficult as he may just ignore my call & message..

But, above all, what it means out of all these? Is he ignoring me purposely? And should I just leave him? Would like to know this from all..

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by buddha123.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by buddha123.

Hi Big blue & Anei, Thanks for your response. I am actually pissed off because of his behaviour. I am the person who needs constant communication & he is busy in his own life. And certainly this way things break. For 10 days, almost every day, I used to either call him up or message. Last time around 5 days ago, asked him whether shall call him, to which he responded, he will call later sometime. And no sign till now. This just means to me he is ignoring. Whether I shall contact him or just let him be..I don’t understand.