Dear dreaming715,

There are few things I noticed in your story and I feel like you have developed like many of us, wrong believes about life. I would like to give you suggestions. I will try to be short, for both gender and very straight. So, that it might benefit some guys as well. Sorry, if they are brutally honest.

Flawed believes/ ideas

1. I will be 28 or soon 30 with no man/woman in my life and I am running out of time as I am getting old.
2. All my friends are married and have kids, why I am single. There must be something really wrong/ flawed with me.
3. I will strive for a relationship by registering to all dating websites just the way I have done for work/job/fitness to find a man/woman for me.
4. I feel lonely and empty, there’s a void in me that I want to fill with finding a right partner and by someone loving me.
5. By getting a man/woman ( or marriage or kids), I will be happy.
6. I am inherently flawed as I continue to fail.

And then you are using mind altering activities to numb pain ( like Tv, unhealthy food etc). Some people use drugs, alcohol, recreational sex, overworking, overexercising and many other things to distract themselves from the everyday torture of their mind.

Now here’s the biggest truth which will not make sense for sure but IF ONLY YOU ARE WILLING to understand it will surely save you. It is this – even if you get that perfect lover who marries you and have kids and makes you happy, you will not have lasting happiness. I would like to add more but I am just going to stop here as not many people are ready to learn this truth.
I will end with some questions that if you are ready to ask yourself it might give you directions.

Questions to ask yourself
1. Why I believe that I must marry and have kids? Is it because of culture, media influence? Is it also my desire? Will be really happy?
2. Why I believe that my friends are married with kids are all happy? Are they really? Have you seen other people in this whole world who have got their deepest desires fulfilled and they are happy? If yes, then all those celebrities and rock star who lose themselves completely?
3. Why I believe that striving for relationships by going to as many dates as possible, I will end up finding right partner? Will you?
4. Why I am scared of being alone? What is loneliness? How can I be happy by not being with someone? What if happiness is different from pleasure?
5. Why I believe that by being married with kids, I will be happy? What about those people who are getting divorced everyday? What about those people who are leaving their spouses because they cheated? What about those parents who are deeply disappointed because of their kids poor behavior/ violence to others? Surely, being married with kids was way to achieve fulfillment and happiness in life and then these people wouldn’t be unhappy?

If you read this post carefully and try to understand what these questions are pointing at, it will make you understand what happiness. If not, do not worry, time will come for that.

Good luck
Brav3