I don’t know is the honest answer I live him we have kids and we have been together a long time. I get angry that no one would help me when he was ill it was all about him sounds stupid I know. I still don’t really understand much about what happened during his time in hospital or his therapy. I had to learn what ptsd was through Google. I don’t really think you ever get cured so to speak. I know he loves me he doesn’t drink anymore. I  was thinking of having some sort of counselling for me but will he throw it in my face when we row? Maybe we are both just clinging onto each other. The kids adore him he does do things with then maybe I’m scared they won’t wanna be with me.  All I know is I’ve got to do something for me. I absolutely love being a stay at home mum and I’m grateful I was able to do that. B7t some he was ill things have changed we have both changed I need to try and believe in myself I guess.

Thanks for taking the time to read this sorry I’ve not responded sooner it’s summer holidays and all kids are home. I have said to him that it’s not all me he just turn gets angry and accuses me of gas lighting. But o feel it’s him doing that if I manage toget my point across he then ignores me it’s so difficult at times we are happy ‘i guess’ but only if it’s what he gets all he wants.