Thank you Cruzzie!  I always find I feel more centered when I can hold someone’s hand when they are struggling.  My husband had an affair 4 years ago… coming up on the anniversary of the day I found out and our conversation has helped me reaffirm the forgiveness and pushing away the any fear that likes to creep up every now and again.   I feel blessed, thank you for that!!!!

Hi Cruzzie,

I agree with everything Peter said.  To answer your question if it is your fault for allowing someone to hurt you: NO WAY!:)

If someone hurts us it doesn’t mean we were “too stupid” to see it coming, or for letting it happen.  It just means that person failed to honor your trust and vulnerability.

As for your anger…lean into it, as Peter described, but don’t allow yourself to wallow in it.  Avoid the mind train…playing scenarios over and over in your head…justifying how you were victimized, how wrong the person who hurt you was…that whole tape we love to play over and over in your ur heads… that’s where chronic anger takes hold.  That kind of anger hurts us because it blocks compassion.  Compassion for ourselves, and compassion for the ones who hurt us.

The person who hurt you: they made a horrible mistake…they may not even consider it a mistake right now or ever, but we can feel compassion for a person who never learned the value of human connection and vulnerability.  You gave a second chance and the one you gave it to blew it… it hurts like hell…I know, but that’s all it is.

As for you, let yourself feel the pain…then acknowledge the bravery it takes to be vulnerable with someone you want to connect with AND STAY BRAVE!  “Broken hearts are the ones that let the light in”

Love the lessons your pain teaches you and you won’t live in fear.  Stay loving and open girl!  I honor that in you and in me…it makes us strong, not weak.