Basically you have to try hard to like your own company . I’m guessing for some people this is easier than others. Does your dream life consist of walking down the street with your carbon copy boyfriend , dressed identical , thinking identical and then one day in the future sitting in a diner with absolutely nothing to say to each other ? Or do you want to be that foxy lady lol walking down the street with all kinds of interesting things to say about her adventures in far away places who has a mind of her own ? This foxy lady could have a beau or not , that’s not the point . The point is she is her own woman !
I prefer to be the foxy lady , that is what I strive for . I’ve done the carbon copy relationship thing and it got old quickly for me.
Maybe I digress but I hope my thoughts help 🙂

I think stressing too hard about love is definitely not the way to go . Love is illusive and should just simply be magical (but that is just me). I agree with you Mary , that we should strive to build the perfect lives for ourselves….And like you I think love will find us then ….But who really knows? I’m definitely living on that assumption . However when and if we have the lives we want we may just be content – – – who knows . I like what someone said in a post earlier that some people are just happy to date , we don’t all have to ball and chain ourselves to someone . So many married people I know are not happy (I wasn’t) , so I definitely don’t think total devotion to someone (as in marriage) is the holy grail to life!
I think the point to what you are saying – – – to build and create the lives we want is simply to enjoy the Whole Journey !!!! Be open to magic . Love is magic in my eyes . Maybe I will die alone lol but I will not settle for less 😉

P.S. ~ When we are in better positions in our lives and we are travelling there will simply just be more decent men around us ,,,and now that is my common sense speaking ! lol 🙂
Good Luck to us all !!!

Memm, I totally agree with you 🙂
This is not an illness to be fixed . This is normal and natural . Striving for more is not only good but healthy . Apathy is a far worse crime .
Would we have amazing pieces of art , architecture , scientific achievements , excellence in sports , literary works of art or great humanitarian efforts if we all just sat on our asses lol ???
We should encourage each other to strive for more and be brave enough ourselves to take those extra leaps of faith and put the petal to the metal .
I enjoy this post 🙂

Hi Sandy , I can definitely relate and I do agree with the above posts but to a certain degree . I agree that it is a feeling from within , that is undeniable but how did it get there in the first place ? In my case it was life events starting from abusive parents and from there unconsciously choosing unhealthy people to be friends with and to have relationships with. And this was due to the fact that my self-esteem had been brutalized and I did not feel worthy of the love of healthy people. So I never really quite felt like I belonged or I was at peace in these different kinds relationships .
To see me I look completely put together even attractive but I do have a heavy heart . I think way too much , I’m always in my head . I am happiest when I am busy at work which is my passion in life.
I’ve been hurt , betrayed , humiliated , you name it, by the very people that should have loved and supported me . So is this really in my head or my reality ? It definitely gets in your head and messes you up especially when these are long time friends, family .
So really I think it is more of an issue of bringing healthy people into one’s life , which at least to me , couldn’t be more difficult . I never stop trying though and I am actually naturally socially outgoing .
But I definitely hear you Sandy. If people were being honest , this could very well affect a lot of people . And I crave connection very much .

I use to have the very same problems as you , overwhelming anxiety . How busy are you in life ? I was not working at the time and in a very unhealthy relationship that only further diminished my self worth . When I simply got busy (as in finding fulfilling work) and fostered meaningful relationships my anxiety went away . Do you have close girlfriends, participate in hobbies and pursue passions ? I hope you have more than your boyfriend .
There all all types of techniques out there but sometimes people overlook the simple and obvious . If you are just busy , especially pursuing what you love whether a plethora of healthy relationships , pursuing hobbies/passions and this is the kicker : finding Meaning Work , you will be way to exhausted in a good way to give any care to imaginary anxieties. I have been there and my crippling anxiety is now gone and I have Way More self-esteem then in those days . Mind you it takes time , hard work, patience and preserverance .
Find your Bliss and your life will turn around . Faith also helped me .
Best of Luck 🙂