Hi Annie,

What you’re going through is so tough and I happened upon your post by accident and am glad I did. First and foremost, it sounds like your social anxiety and depression are key factors in what you’re experiencing. Not being able to get a job, have or keep friends, etc. Have you thought of therapy?

As for the boyfriend, it’s important to state what you’re feeling and not be afraid to own it. I, too, used to hide my feelings and expect my partner to know what I needed rather than tell him. As a married woman who’s gone to therapy, I was told to not assume. It’s the worst for relationships when you have hidden expectations Don’t assume he knows what you’re going through.

In the dance class situation, it would bother me as well but the most important part is focusing on getting better. What you’ve said so far makes it sound like you allow the world to act upon you. How often do you reach out to people? Do you make an effort to have a conversation with your boyfriend? We often expect others to do all the work when in reality we have to make an effort.

Also, why did your boyfriend date you to begin with? There is obviously something he loves about you. Maybe it’s hard for him to handle seeing you cave in and withdraw. I know I don’t know all the facts and there are so many deeper levels to your situation.

Just know you’re not alone and everything will work towards getting better. One step at a time.