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Ace I

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  • July 27, 2014 at 9:16 pm in reply to: What are "needs"? #61929
    Ace I
    Participant

    I never really saw money as “stability”…

    If there’s anything I’ve connected with, it’s my constant need for freedom. I don’t mind living with my parents all that much, since they know how to keep their distance, but I despised the thought of captivity and simply “doing what I’m told”. I immediately sympathize, say, with caged animals or slaves or people who are unable to make choices because they are not free to do so. In the context of money, I work a taxing $6/day job so I’m free in the sense of buying whatever I want.

    June 27, 2014 at 7:07 pm in reply to: Feeling like it's too late #59787
    Ace I
    Participant

    …I honestly cannot say that the preachy tone helped. Way to be insensitive.

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Ace I.
    June 12, 2014 at 12:48 am in reply to: Feeling like it's too late #58695
    Ace I
    Participant

    TheAwakening, I want to believe this, I really do.

    But I always feel like whenever I do take charge of my life, everyone and their expectations will hound me until I submit.
    Say I do want I want, give up my job, bond with my pets, join rallies, travel, read, leave my family and my country. I’ll be criticized for not working, not paying my taxes, not living up to what others expect of my. I’ll be isolated at best, then jobless, then destitute, and sent to prison at worst. Others assert their power and limit our choices on purpose.

    I keep a bottle of poison close, just in case I decide that this reality is not worth the bullshit I have to deal with.

    March 7, 2014 at 4:34 am in reply to: wrought with guilt for pets #52451
    Ace I
    Participant

    Hi again. An update on the situation, particularly the last dog.

    My mom admitted that because the latest dog (the largest one) is a “gift”, they couldn’t refuse it. They took it in because it was the “proper” thing to do, despite the hassle it would give us all. Because I’m the only one who cares for it so much, she said, I’m the only one who should take responsibility for it, and that I shouldn’t blame them.

    Are they right? How am I supposed to go about this? I want a better life for myself and this dog, but taking care of myself is hard enough as it is. I have three choices: training, rehoming, and euthanasia, if a better life cannot be given to it.

    The family will “respect” my decision in exchange for my respecting their choice to neglect it. I am so upset that my family is antagonizing me and something I love so much this way, and there’s no one else to seek guidance for without being judged. More than anything I want to kill the dog or myself or both.

    January 3, 2014 at 9:59 am in reply to: toxic family #48255
    Ace I
    Participant

    Bernadette I feel for you, and I do want to have a life like that one day, but I love my dogs too much to leave them here.

    jon, the boys thing puts some perspective, but does it really excuse them? For one, my father is in this group. A grown man, watching his wife put his daughter down, and actively ignores me while enjoying his wife’s company afterwards? That, I cannot comprehend.

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