Almost every person by the time he/ she is a teenager, has been rejected by a romantic love interest. It hurts when this happens, but almost every single person experiences it. You will overcome the pain and you will find love elsewhere. –yes this is the reason I never dated anyone in my teens, I was just afraid of getting heartbroken.

Her clarity is helpful because it leaves no doubt in one’s mind where her interest is not. – yeah it sucks how people change, mentally I am driven to just get away from this person though there’s still some emotional attachments.

Tbh, I am kinda afraid of loving too much now, because she once told me she was in a toxic relationship for 4 years, I sometimes reflect am I that bad that a toxic relationship lasted for 4 years but mine where I was always supportive lasted hardly 4 months?

I am afraid of loving anymore and idk what to do. Because I think if I pulled away the first time she told me she wanted space, atleast she would’ve known my value and kept me around but I still offered help and stuck around. I have lost a lot of self-respect to save this relationship just for the other party to disrespect me like that, I feel pathetic. This wasn’t even a proper relationship it was long-short distance relationship. Did I do too much to drive her away or make her value me less?

Thanks, I’ll keep you updated. I’ll be a away for a while.

She’s close to her mom, but not her dad, her dad is bipolar and is aggressive. I don’t know how can she even relate me to him I have never shouted at her or been aggressive in any way.

Anita I don’t know what’s the problem, my brain is overclocked, do you know I have read a total of 3 books on relationships and 1 on psychology in a matter of 2 weeks, it’s like it is looking for answers on what I could’ve changed or try to in future. A huge part of me wants her back and a part of me is telling me she isn’t worth it. My messed up sleep schedule forces me to skip on my studies too and everything has turned to shite right now. The only regular thing I am doing is work out that’s it. How can I not give up on love when I got rejected for the same cause that my love was burdening? I hear my friends say it’s because I loved her that much she lost interest or something along the lines. I am just so exhausted and yet I cannot sleep.

Did you repeatedly mention to her your efforts, how difficult those efforts were for you to make, how hard you tried and suggested that she was ungrateful, anything like that?

Nah not even a single time, I understood her so I never told her that she isn’t giving her enough. She herself kept apologising that she isn’t giving enough and everytime she did I told her “it’s fine just focus on your mental well-being for now, that’ll be enough for me and if you need anything I’ll always be here”. Infact I never did something for her if she doesn’t want it, I don’t wanna shove my help on her face that’s why I always asked her if she wants something. Only this time when I contacted her friend I really wanted to do something because Christmas was coming. I thought maybe I will bake up a cake or gift her something or atleast order something for her to eat if she doesn’t want to meet me.

But I never ever mentioned making efforts the only time I did was after the breakup because I was really hurt. Infact I even told her, I don’t care if she doesn’t reciprocate at all, but I want to know how she’s doing cause if I don’t know that I get worried.

“but the great majority of your long- distance relationship took place over the phone (you saw her in-person only 3 times), therefore, it was appropriate for her to break up with you over the phone.”

Oh it’s her actually who kept in insisting on closing the distance, she was the one who made it official and serious as well. I would’ve waited for a lot more in person dates to get serious but it didn’t take much. Yes over a video call is less intimate than in person but we were on the same page regarding our relationship. I put in a lot of efforts, even closed the distance between us, as I said earlier, I selfishly wanted to care for her as much as possible because whenever I saw her wether in person or video call I would feel so bad it hurted me. I don’t know if it’s attachment or love, I have been in no contact the attachment is less now but I still choose her, because I made promises, I made plans too.

“this person heavily guilt-tripped me, using their efforts to make me feel indebted.”
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I am so sorry that happened to you, but are you sure? Now I am having second thoughts if she considers my efforts as guilt tripping too.</p>

<p style=”text-align: left;”>Maybe you have been unhappy with your living circumstances for a long time and the relationship with her was a way for you to distract yourself from this unhappiness. And now that the relationship has ended, you lost that distraction. Any truth to this?</p>
Nope I was actually happy before and during the relationship, I was growing even before the relationship but ever since the breakup it’s just unbearable.

I am currently seeing a therapist but not offline, I don’t know how to even continue living without her. I get this strong urge to just call her but the way she disrespected me and threw me away and I know if I do call her she’ll hurt me again.