Dear Anita,

thank you so much for your response. I do understand your post, i believe you to be right. I think one of the factors to why i have become this obsessed is due to my past relationships. I have been around men like Jason for a long time, been brought up in that environment. Of both men, and woman, taking their insecurities out on one another. I too, have been in the pitfall of this behavior.

But i cant decipher it no more.. its becoming increasing difficult as i constant go back and fourth my own mind doubting the reality. Its why i am seeking an outsiders perspective. Maybe i am too close to see the truth?

Is this man truly so weak and insecure within himself, even at 50, that he has had to fabricate a whole life, speaking of hundreds of women? or is he really this way?

I feel cheated and betrayed by his meaningless fling with the lady in Thailand, but should i be? surely no.. he had no commitment to me, no obligation, we wasn’t together. why after a year do i feel so cheated and jealous of this?

my head is just an absolute mess, it should not have built up to the extent it has. But i cant let up.. let go.. move on.. because everything is unanswered.

i hope this makes sense. Again, thank you for taking the time to reply.