Hi Ben,

I stumbled upon this today. I don’t know how it all turned out, but did want to chime in, in case it isn’t too late. I am getting married soon and agree that the bond of family is important, but your fiance has every right to pick her bridal party. On your special day (and the events leading up to it), she should be surrounded by the women who make HER happiest, support HER entirely and are there for HER through thick and thin. Regardless of the circumstances, your fiance and sister do not have a close relationship. Hopefully, their relationship will evolve over time, but your wedding is not the appropriate venue to force such a bond.

Have you picked your groom’s party yet? The reason I ask, is there is no reason to be traditional. Just as your fiance should be surrounded by those she cares most for, you should too. If it is important to you that your sister stand up with you during your wedding, she can. She can stand as a “groomsman” on your side, in support of you. If it is super important to you, you can deal with the issues that come along with having your sister stand in at the wedding and your fiance can deal with the people she has chosen.

Look at this another way. My female friend was a groomsman in a wedding. She wore the same dress as the bridesmaids (but in black – the color of the guys suits). It looked great, everyone was happy, and my friend wasn’t stuck in a bridal party where she wasn’t welcome and didn’t know the members. Why would your sister want to be part of the bridal party when should could stand by her brother instead?

Just my two cents. Hope it helps or gives different perspective.

-Beltacular2008