Dear David,
Most breakups are devastating. I can relate to your pain. I went through a few myself. I know, sometimes, no amount of words or comfort seem to do it. Sometimes, what it takes is time. Allow yourself time to grief this loss. With every crisis we overcome, we will come out just a little stronger, and a little wiser. Everyone who enters our life, is there to teach us something about ourselves. Life is a series of lessons, especially the heartbreaks, because they make us think a little more deeply. Take comfort that everything is meant to be as it happens. In the midst of a crisis, all we can see, is that it is a crisis. But I am a strong believer that we are given exactly what we need when we need it, to allow us to learn and grow. When a certain amount of time has passed, you will be able to look back at these circumstances and be appreciative of them, as they work to help build a stronger you. In this journey of life, sometimes, life feels as though it is about this one person, and we can’t imagine life otherwise. But it’s really just a chapter in our life. You will move on. Life has a way of renewing itself. Your spirits has a way of rejuvenating itself. Take care of yourself for now. Go out for walks, hit the gym … Just be very patient with yourself and everything will be alright.

Much love and warmth to you.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.

Dear Alice,
In youth, sometimes, life feels as though it is about this one person, and you can’t imagine life otherwise. But it’s really just a chapter in our life. Life is a series of lessons. Everyone who enters into our life is meant to teach us something about ourselves. You will learn more about yourself with each crisis you can survive. So, even though it feels like a crisis right now, it might be a blessing in disguise. You have all the strength in you to overcome this hard time. Just be very patient with yourself. This might be a chance for you to put less focus on relationships and more on you. Try a new hobby, try out that something you’ve always wanted to do. Might be it’s a call to move inward, to find who you truly are and what truly brings you joy. Everything happens for a reason. And the opposite is also true – something doesn’t happen for a reason. Sometimes, we are not meant to stay in a certain place because we are meant to walk through another door. This is hard, very hard. But it can be a time of self-reflection. Time to look into yourself and embrace all that you are and grow.

Much love and warmth to you.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.

Dear Lexcee,

How about shifting your focus for a little while? When you’re dragged down by the stress of homework and passing the classes, it might be hard to see other potentials. Take a little break. How about hanging in there with just 1 class? It can help lessen your stress and allow you to think more clearly. I’ve found from my experience, that when I was overwhelmed with too many things, I minimized my obligations and it helped. Once you feel like you can carry a certain weight without much effort, you build up your strength, your courage to carry more. It’s like training for any sports. You build up slowly. What it takes is momentum and strength to keep showing up. Slowly, but surely, you’ll gain ground on it.

With much love and warmth.

• This reply was modified 10 years ago by belove.
• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.

Dear Jahx,

Sometimes we want something so badly that the progress seems incredibly slow. I was there in the battles with the dark moods. You have my hugs. You said, “But it’s like 2 steps forward – 1 step back”. I see this as a call for celebration. You’re making forward progress. One of the secrets of life is being able to find joy in the journey, to embrace the present. Celebrate every lesson learned, every progress made. What it takes is momentum. Every new journey starts with a first step, no matter how small. Once you put in that first step and kept showing up, you will gradually gain ground on it.
“There is no path to happiness: Happiness is the path.” ~Buddha

With much love and warmth.

• This reply was modified 9 years, 10 months ago by tinybuddha.

My dear,
I want to send you my hugs. I can relate to the feelings that you are having right now. It’s so tough when your feelings for someone is so strong and they can’t reciprocate. I was in a similar situation years ago and I like to share with you my experience. When your happiness depends on someone else, it’s not a good thing. I was waiting and waiting and one day realized it was the worse thing I was doing to myself. When you are waiting on them, they have this power over you; e.g. in your case, you can’t spontaneously say something, you don’t know if it will trigger something, you don’t know the reactions that can occur. It’s a very exhausting place to be. Well, in my case, one day I just had enough of it and went out to live my life. And I am thriving and consider my life one of tremendous blessings. I made wonderful friends. Life is as sweet as it can be. I am my own person with a heart full of love and joy. I am just sharing this to show that wonderful things can happen when we focus inward. Actually this can be a great opportunity for you to do just that – to shift the focus back to you. Be his friend, and be compassionate toward him. But that’s it. Do the things you love. And do more of it. Before you know it, you are so much happier. And having someone is not really that important. Of course, we always yearn to connect with others. But it’s different when you are happy with yourself. The feelings will just flow. And if it doesn’t, you know it’s not right for you. And you continue on. And I believe the universe always give us exactly what we need when we are ready to experience it. Much love to you.

Dear Jen,
Even when it seems like you have no strength left, you do. It’s our inherent gift. We all have more strength than we believe. Affirmations work only when it’s truly believed. In troubled times, we need to be grateful for the smallest things. Your health is improving, that’s a big thing to be grateful for. Our mood has to do a lot with how we are taking care of our physical body. Make sure you get some good rest, take walks, eat healthy, get out in nature, … every little thing that you do for yourself will add up to feeling better physically, which in turn, build up the confidence or strength you need to take care of the other areas of your life. There are different seasons in our life and a peaceful one usually preceded by some sort of suffering. Hope, my dear, we all need it. Hope makes it easier to endure the current not-so-great situations. Try taking some deep breaths whenever you feel a wave of negative emotions run over you. They are emotions after all, they will pass. The sun is always there, we just need to learn to look pass the clouds and wait for the clouds to move and reveal the sun. Hugs to you.

Dear melon80,
Meditate on it, take walks, make sure you get some good sleep and eat healthy, write down your thoughts, … All of these will give you better clarity.
I recently run across Bryon Katie on youtube. She has this system called The work. Look it up if you can. I’ve applied it to one of the hard situation in my life and it helped. You need to basically be very honest with yourself and ask these questions: “Is it true?” “Can I absolutely know that it’s true?”… For example, write down what the fear is, then do the inquiry. It’s a life or death situation, is it true? Is there any way you can turn it around and say “It’s NOT a life or death decision”, that however the situation turns out, that life will go on as it should, … Also, sharing it in more details may help you see it more clearly also. Hugs.