Hi Anita,

He was suppose to send the key to the building & let me know when he could pick up his pictures & of course, nothing…

I am not going to worry about it or ask him again.  I don’t know why he likes to use the fact he is to busy to call/text or give me a time for anything since he moved…But he has time to text & call her 50 times a day and take days off for trips!!  Geeezzz, I wasn’t going to do that, but it just came out…I do feel better.  LOL

I am finished with his childish games, or maybe my few needs during the last 4 mos.  have been at the bottom of the Totem Pole…In some small way I was hoping before I made the final decision he is scum of the earth, that he would make a break through and possibly do or say something nice.  Oh well, so much for miracles…

I hope you have a wonderful weekend Anita & I will update if anything happens exciting for me over the weekend!!

Bella~

I agree 100%…

I already had a lock installed over the door so he can’t get in the building…I thought since his key was small he could send it in the mail with no problem.  Why is he being so mean?  It is so immature.  Why try make my life so difficult?

I received a call back just an hr ago from a retired handy man that is going to help when I need things done & I have another on reserve, so I feel much better in case I need help so I don’t feel desperate…I think that was causing a lot of my anxiety since my ex took care of all those things for years.

Do you actually still think after knowing his situation with his new girl & new living condition is why he is still being hateful &  that he is unhappy?

Bella~

Hi Anita,

You will love this one…I received an email yesterday about him changing  the address which would have sent my bank info & account to his new address which was on my e-mail I  & drove by the house…He is indeed living with her in a 1000 sq. ft 80 yr. old home in a bad part of town about 25 min from where we lived on the lake in a large home w/ golf course & a great part of town…He had a 400 sq. ft. master bedroom and his own newly remodeled  bathroom with a 4 x 8 ft shower that he loved all the privacy we just had done a year ago because he is 6 2′ also with a cal. king bed off the side of the house with a private balcony~

Not trying to brag but when I saw the house I felt so good, because I amagned he was in a similar home because he wanted our new house with more privacy by itself and a 3 car garage.  Where he now is in the middle of a bunch of houses w/no garage & NO privacy!! Also somehow he had a new camper hooked to his truck…So I guess he went on a purchase binge…

I also found out when w spoke briefly yesterday I asked him why he cheated and he said he didn’t,  that he only communicated with this girl months before he left and then he moved in with her only after 2 weeks which she can’t be much to do such a thing.  I hope once he stops the weekend summer trips and outings and the honeymoon is over, because it will … he is miserable!

He always told me he wanted to live out away from everything and be alone, that is why I purchased the property for us to build on last year which he still said he wanted me to GIVE it to him for 1/3 of what I paid so he could BUILD HER a house…

Also I found out she is 14 yrs. younger that I am (IT bothered me a lot) & (I don’t know what she looks like, just a lot younger),  I guess he now has a new young girl…

I feel he is angry as you said about the house deal going through & his moving into the tiny house with a girl he barley knew, you  know as well as I do, you can’t know someone for 2 weeks and make a transition like that & the relationship having much of a chance to amount to much.

One thing, he was still very hateful yesterday for no reason when we spoke and didn’t seem like the man I knew and I told him so…I told him the kind man I met years ago was gone…

Everyone that knows the situation said he probably left because of what you mentioned.  Me changing and messing up his plans.  I did basically take such good care of him, making sure he always had nice dress clothes for work and usually whatever he needed I would make sure I got him on Birthdays and Christmas…I didn’t just buy him things, it was always a holiday…I was good to him & he always told me he felt good about it because in his other relationship his money was spent on wife and kids…

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I guess as we have discussed in the past few months in out posts to one another…

He can’t be understood due to his lack of character and all of his lies…I don’t understand & as I told him, no need to be hateful to one another.  He know how to get me upset.  One funny thing, he did say I was going to call and check on you tomorrow & I said what for, you wouldn’t help me if I wasn’t ok and needed something…His response, well maybe you fell and drowned in the bath tub.   My goodness, what kind of a remork!  I am beginning to believe he may be a bit deranged…

Bella

Hi Anita,

The things that are here are less than 2 boxes of things…He told me it was a few things in the house he had in a box or 2…I told him to send me an email & give me a list & I would set them out for him and he said he would call in a week or 2 when he had time and make arrangements to pick them up…I told him asap & he upset me & I said a few nasty things and hung up on him.  He did not call, or respond back…If it were not pictures of his mom & dad, I would throw them out.  Why do you think he will not just come and get them and be done with it.

He has everything else…He did say he didn’t understand the urgency of his things being removed, just wait until it was good for him to come & pick them up…

Bella

Hi Anita,

Wanted to say Hi & give an update…Last night was a restless night, but I am going to meet someone for lunch today.  We spoke yesterday for a long time on the phone & seem to have a lot in common…I am going with an open and positive attitude…One problem,  I feel like I am being deceptive to the relationship of the past and it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

I try so hard to put him out of my mind and as always,  thoughts creep back in.  Even in a sick way I have caught myself wondering if he would ever come back if I keep my distance and maybe by some chance he would miss me enough to call.  I know that is not going to happen and is prolonging my healing.  What can I do to stop me from thinking these thoughts.  I guess whenever someone says , “he will come back”, it makes me wonder if he would and what would I say to him.  I really don’t know.

Deep down inside I really do understand we were so different & is why we split…Our values were nothing in line with one another.  And I have seen how his life now is polar opposite of what we had planned together.  We had a future planned with building a home, saving our money and hanging out at home.  Now, all he does is go out of town, diner, trips and spend money like it is going out of style.

How could he live so completely different now with her than he did with me?  Questions I keep asking myself & then I start to blame myself again for the break-up…It’s like every time I start to feel better and realize it wasn’t all my fault, these thoughts of what could I have changed come rushing back in.  I have never been this distant with a break-up.  Every time I think us only seeing one another 4 times very briefly in the past 3 months hurts.

It just doesn’t seem normal after 8 yrs. not to wonder or have any contact.  Like I said before I will not contact him & if he tried I wouldn’t respond to him even If I wanted. The only way I would talk to him is if he made a real effort and even send a letter, or show up and ask to explain.  Not that it would heal , or make me able to forgive…I am not sure what I am hoping for.  I feel I would even be afraid to ever talk to, or trust him again.  I know it’s not an option at all, so please tell me, why am I wasting my time with these useless thoughts…

Bella~