Hi Anita,

Feeling more positive today & I am Blessed #1, to have found this site which led me to you.  My Ghost friend as they say in this crazy cyber world. & #2 my Furr babies…With the 3 of you, I am realizing I can deal with life a little more easily.  I was up watching Dexter last night, LOL & my 2 Furr babies were right with me cuddling by my side as if they knew mom needed them.

They are precious, both are Tux kitties, my boy is 16lbs & little girl is 6lbs & I love them so.  I would like to get another solid black kitty from the shelter, but I feel I should wait until I am in a better place.

Going to try & be positive about the rest of the year and embrace the upcoming Holidays.  Alone, or not I will do my best.  Who knows what the future holds & if I stay negative, it will only be negative.  Actually, I like being alone because when I talk to most people it seems like it’s mostly drama & I despise drama.  I am more of a quiet person & prefer being alone.  I guess I should realize this and embrace that also, instead of getting so upset about being alone.  I should be glad I can enjoy being alone because a lot of people seem to go crazy unless they are running all the time and in the middle of a large crowd.

Enjoy the Day My Friend & I will post again tomorrow~

Bella~

Hi Anita,

Not much luck with the dating game.  I went on a few dates & tried to be open-minded, but all I could do is come home and blame myself for my break up.  I am beating myself up by only thinking of everything I did wrong.  I don’t know why I have been obsessing to think if he would have talked to me only once since the break up I could get some closure.  It still breaks my Heart that he has never spoken to me since the breakup.  I still don’t understand how he could have moved out and never at least have given me a chance to talk about things and to answer any questions I still have.  Why does this bother me so much?  I feel like I am reliving this whole mess over & over.

I was starting to feel strong a few weeks ago, what has happened to throw me back into this world wind.  I hate the way I feel, I am pushing the few people that care away by turning into a hermit!  I have stayed in the bed watching TV and torturing myself with thoughts of the past & how the Holidays are going to be.  Dreading every minute of what my future holds.  Seems like everything has been downhill since he left.  My life has basically been at a standstill.  I feel like my World has stopped.  I am not looking forward to anything, only dreading the future!

Bella~

Good Morning Anita~

You are right, I will stay away from places he may go & avoid the people that may see them together and get pleasure from the Drama.  I will think about all you have said.

It is so disappointing to have come this far and feel I am taking one step forward and 2 steps back.  But, I will be positive today and follow your given advice.

Have a nice day~

Bella~

Good Morning Anita,

Just got home from the vet…One of my babies wouldn’t let me touch his little paw last night (I usually massage his paws at night, seems to soothe him), but last night he wouldn’t let me touch his paw.  So I got up this morning & took him to the vet & his nail had been ripped out and was infected.  So glad I took him…my girlfriend said she would wait & so glad I followed my instincts!

I feel a little better today, but am gun shy from going to the hardware store as I can see my ex is still using my discount & now he is going to the location where I frequent.  A girl at the store near me told me yesterday that he came in & purchased a lot of painting supplies…

I am so over hearing about things he does.  He is so cruel.  I will be glad when I can wake up & have NO feelings for him at all.

Have a nice weekend Anita~

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I don’t know what is going on with my computer, keeps putting my mail in junk file & I have to search for things.

I am going to Cheesecake Factory in Charlotte, very excited and I will think of you while eating my monster size piece of cheesecake!  I will also go shopping at a Mall named South Park…Very big & nice.  A lot of high end stores all in one location.

Will fill you in tomorrow.

Have a Beautiful weekend Anita… 🙂

PS~ Still no contact!

Bella~

I like your dating approach & will follow the guidelines.

My discount is given because he uses my phone #, which is attached to my discount.  The store knows us well & he has used it in the past so I guess they have no reason to question him, or his girlfriend.  It shows me how he has no pride to do such a thing.  The only other thing I could do is text him & tell him to stop, but I don’t want any contact with him.  So, for now,  I will let it slide.

Happy Birthday to me~ Happy Birthday to me~ Happy Birthday Dear Bella~ Happy Birthday to me!!!! LOL 🙂

I would love to talk to you, but I will respect your boundaries~  I fully understand.

Where do you live Anita?  I know it is in the country, which state? and do you like it?

Bella~

Hi Anita,

Do you recommend any dating site over another, haven’t had much luck with the ones I have picked…Or, possibly I don’t understand online dating.  I seem to just attract the weird ones.  LOL

I do a lot of what you did, except I watch a lot of documentaries on TV & read biographies, so far Marilyn Monroe/Elvis/Meryle Haggard, well…you get the picture & I am sure you did also…

Nothing special for my Birthday, I may go to a town about 1 1/2 hrs. away & walk through the mall & go to the Cheesecake Factory.  (Probably, think about our emails & cry in my cheesecake. 🙁

Found out today I have termites & also need a new roof~ Not happy about that, but it is what it is…

Also, went to the grocery store & on my way home passed a car that looked just like my ex coming from my road & my heart stopped.  I saw brake lights, but I am sure if it had been him & he missed me he would have come back when I passed him.

Then of course, once I got home and fed the kitties & put the groceries in pace my mind started wandering about him.  It’s 3:15 a.m. and he is still on my mind.

Don’t worry not to the point I would contact him, it been over 3 mos. since I have seen him & I would not want to relive the past 3 mos. by stepping backwards at this point.  Every day has become a struggle with thoughts of him.  I am sure it is because the Holidays are right around the corner and the weather was unseasonably cool today which made it feel more like fall.

I will let you know how the Birthday goes & Thank you for asking.  It is my fault, none of my friends know it is my Birthday~

Bella~

Hi Anita,

What an alternative to be put in prison general population as a possible sexual slave…I prefer to be alone & hopefully will never need to make that decision.

I try to keep my feelings to myself, I don’t like weakness & do not like to express my sadness to others.  I feel I do a good job keeping these sad feelings to myself.  You are the only unfortunate person at present to hear how I feel.

It helps me to know you are there to listen & I appreciate your kindness.

Bella~