Hi Anita,

Feeling a bit better today, I managed to get some Chicken Noodle Soup down… I called a Realtor about selling my 3 acres of land today & have mixed feelings…I figured I could list it with a realtor and if it sells, it does.  I probably wouldn’t want to sell my home & rebuild anyway.  Maybe after it is sold I will have a better idea of what I want to do.

I have a little 1000 sq. ft rental house I was going to sell, but have decided to just keep it & invest some more money in it.  It is so cute!  Have had it for about 8 yrs & it has been a good piece of rental property, or at least since the last ones just recently moved.  They were pigs & didn’t take care of it & it took about $1,000 to get it back in shape for re-rental.  I have already put new gravel in the driveway, getting a new roof & new landscaping.  All else is good.  It has the original hardwood floors from 1940 when the house was built & the house has so much Character.  It has beat board ceilings and beautiful light fixtures, a bar in the kitchen, nice upstairs with about 500 sq. feet of open space & just pretty hardwoods.  There is no heat, or air upstairs, so it is used for storage.  Maybe someday I will live there as it is in a very nice part of downtown close to local grocery stores/hospital & restaurants.  Would be a good low maintenance retirement home for me someday.

I hope you are doing well and take care, my Good Friend!

Bella~

Hi Anita,

The first picture was my little 6lb girl, the wild one, and the current one is of my precious 16lb boy.  They both have helped me get through the last 7 months.  Stash, my boy is a God sent…He has always been my special boy & he Loves me so…He had a little sister (Bella), that passed away with Congestive Heart Failure at the age of 3 & I still miss her terribly.  Stash almost has a sense of my feelings and at times I believe he is trying in his way to communicate with me the best he can.

I am so tired from not sleeping well & just thinking all night about wasteful things.  Things I should and should not have done, said etc…

I wish I had a friend like you that I could hang out with and visit.  My friends are limited and have their own lives, and honestly, they don’t understand how I feel.  I would give almost anything to have a local Friend like you.  You are so understanding and you have helped me tremendously, along with many others that you communicate with.  There is a Special place in Heaven for people like you!

Be safe under the crawl space and I will let you know how the orange slices work.  I haven’t made it out yet! LOL

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I really don’t want to sell my house because I don’t know where I would go & no point in moving away.  Just the thought of trying to sell and box up everything makes me nauseous.  I like company, but not to live with.  Sometimes I get scared about growing old alone, but it will be however is in Gods Plan for me.

The land I will try to sell probably in the spring.  I will talk to a realtor about it & see what they recommend.

It is chilly here this morning & still very wet from all of the rain.  I couldn’t sleep again last night from thinking about so many things.  I am so sick of not being able to sleep well. People suggest a glass of wine, but I am not a drinker.  LOL

Be safe under to crawl space & have a nice day!

Bella~

Hi Anita,

So glad to read your post even if it was short…Be careful under the crawl space (spiders)…LOL

Today is about 40 degrees & raining hard & a dreary day.  I use to love the rain when it was cloudy/cold & raining…But now all I think about when it rains is what is flooding & where am I going to find leaks.   My grass needs mowing & my fridge needs the filter changed & I am not sure where to turn the water off …LOL  I am starting to sound sooo helpless.  I think it is because all of these firsts, in things needing to be taken care of since he has been gone is getting overwhelming.  Then I start thinking about things again, get sad and cry.  I am pitiful at the moment!  Maybe tomorrow will be better…I can only hope…

Bella~

Talk soon,

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I need your help with an issue I have when I get extremely upset or board.  I shop online…In the past few weeks, I have racked up an enormous amount of shopping for clothes and make-up, which I do not need.  Now, I will have to box it all up and return these items as they have served their purpose from being opened and realizing it is a crutch…

It is so embarrassing when I return them because it is so much stuff.  I need nothing, it just keeps me occupied momentarily to managed my being bored.  And now I will need to make a 4 hour round trip because I am overwhelmed with boxing all of these items.  It is all still in the original packing and unused.  Why do I do this, & what can I do to stop.  I know when I am making the purchases at 2 a.m. it is not needed, but so easy to push the buy button on my computer.

After thinking about it, I use to do it also when my ex & I were together, so it is also mostly out of discontent & sadness…

Bella~

Hi Anita,

I need to ask a question.  Back in June I told you about my ex’s box of pictures he left and I asked him several times to come & pick them up.  Well, 4 months later they are still here & since I have found 2 of his Bibles he had as a child and a small antique knife collection while I was cleaning.

What should I do with his items, as I do not want any contact with him, but also would feel terrible to throw them out…

Any suggestions~  Apparently, he has no concern for these items, but I wish they were not in my Home…

Bella~