Hi Bernadette.

I think it doesn’t really matter if it’s normal or not 🙂 I’ve been there and so have many other people. I don’t know why it happens, but it does. I do think it has to do with your own life…I think when you have more stuff going on you tend to think less of an ex, or whoever it is that’s crossinf your mind. In that sense, a hobby or any activity you enjoy might help.

I’ve also been where you’re at, regarding meeting someone new. I would recommend to make the most out of your situation and try to get out there. Perhaps, instead of working from home, go to a café or some place where there’s other people around. I’m not necessarily implying you go out looking for a new romantic relationship…just focus on meeting new people, if that’s possible (I don’t know how small your town is!), men, women, younger, older. It’s ok if you don’t connect with anyone immediately, just focus on being around people. For me, it felt awkward and frustrating at first because I never actually talked to people, or I felt like I had very superficial conversations and at the end of the day I would feel like a failure. I guess what I’m saying from my own experience is, get out there but don’t take it like a task, or something you have to achieve. Baby steps. For me it worked out in the end, almost accidentally, and have met some people, none of whom I’m romantically interested, but who are fun to hang out with.

Ultimately, it’s up to you what you do about this relationship. The thing is you have to see your ex (and any other guy in the future) clearly for what he is and what he is capable of giving in that moment. It’s hard, I know. But it’s important to recognize (and accept!God, is it hard to accept) who you’re dealing with and whether or not they are a good fit for you in terms of what you want and need in a partner.

Hi, amethystt. I’m sorry about you and your friend. I’ve had similar experiences and while some were easy tolet go others were quite painful. I’m sorry you feel lonely. I am prone to feeling like that too sometimes, and those times no matter how much time I spend with my friends I can’t seem to feel content. Of course the reasons for this might be different in your case, but with me I feel the problem is that I feel lonely in my own company.

Then one thing I noticed from your post is that you mention having friends who care about you…and I feel it’s important to ask: do you have friends YOU care for? Do you care about their lives, their problems, etc? Maybe this feeling of not having meaningful connections stems partly from there. After all, connecting is a two way highway. I find that while it’s important for me to feel like my friends care about me it’s equally important for me to take time and get out of my head, focus on them, ask how they are doing because doing so makes me feel connected to them.

Just my two cents. I hope you feel better. Hugs.