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imaParticipant
Hi Elfie,
I wish i could say that it is easy but it is notā¦.I am in a dilemma myself with my boyfriend. We are both over 40s divorced and with children. We met last summer. he introduced me to his all family and i slowly to my children. He lives with his parents and one son. They are all lovely. I love him dearly. Since September we started meeting up once a week and then went almost once a month. His job requires him to be at home and as it involve phone calls from around the world, heās on the phone all the timeā¦late nights sleep everyday. He texts me everyday and still saying iām the love of his lifeās. Someone who he waited for all his life and will never walk away from. He hasnāt had a girlfriend for 4 years (He said he wouldnāt sleep with anyone woman until he met the one he would never walk away from). He wants to buy his place (as he left his house for the ex and children) and we get married also help his children financially (ours as he says). Itās been 2 months now that we only met few hours, once when his grandchild was born (our grandchild) the other at my friendās birthday. Before that was X=mas (with his family) and new years eve. Iām finding really difficult to keep up with the distance. When i asked him if he thinks we are drifting apart, he was shocked and said āNo, not for one secondā and asked if i thought we were. I said i fear that we are running the risk to it as there has been no contact apart from text messages for so long with no planning of meet up at all. He said it wont be forever and his busyness, what he is doing now is almost finished. Once I got angry because he was busy every time i text, even tho he was replaying, and that i felt bad because I thought I disturbing him. when i said i was finding very difficult the all distance thing he got upset and said āHe could only say sorry, that he needed to work like that until the kids donāt need him anymore and that he doesnāt have anyone paying his wages so he wouldnāt have money if he didnāt work like that. And that is for our and our kids future that he is working so much!
Iāve got 2 boys and no family here. Work full time (a lot). Been feeling sad and lonely as if i donāt have a boyfriend at all. Been divorced for ages and only had one long term relationship after divorcing which ended 3 4 years ago. He from being very romantic at the beginning, remembering our anniversary and else and , forgot our anniversary lately, didnāt( He had to take his father to hospital and was lacking sleep) mention valentines ( although send me a good morning message as he does everyday)ā¦When I mentioned that he forgot, he said in his head wad āto take dad to hospital on Mondayā and that he didnāt forgot it was only he didnāt know the day of the month and that doesnāt reflect what he feels for me at all. I felt sad anyway. Heās been under so much stress with the kind of job he does and with his dadās scare of becoming ill ( heās on remission)ā¦Oh, itās tough for him i can understand that!! But I go from understanding to wanting to end as i think he doesnāt have time for me. He wants to get married, donāt know when, but iām unsure of everything as at the moment i donāt even feel like a girlfriend. WE some intimacy last summer and only slept together 3 times in 8 monthsā¦I donāt know what to do. His parents need hospital appointment time to time and he drives them. He is busy all the times. I donāt know how we can get together, but he seems to be planing all. I miss him a lot. When he texts me he says things like āhe loves me more than everything or to infinity and beyond. I do too but the distance is starting taking the tool.What do I do?I donāt want to loose him and donāt want to keep saying that we need to make an effort to meet up ( as I said before). Donāt want to push him at all. I am now feeling that I might not even want to see him again as it might be ages after we meet up again and it hurts so much. I keep thinking that i should end as iām not happy but i know iāll be even more unhappy if I do. Can someone give me some advice please?imaParticipantWe are both over 40s divorced and with children. We met last summer. he introduced me to his all family and i slowly to my children. He lives with his parents and one son. They are all lovely. I love him dearly. Since september we started meeting up once a week and then went almost once a month. His job requires him to be at home and as it envolve phone call, on the phone all the timeā¦late nights everyday. he texts me everyday and still saying iām the love of his lifeās. He wants to buy his place and get married and help his children (ours as he says). Itās been 2 months now that we only met few hours, once when his grandchild was born (our grandchild). Iām finding really difficult to keep up with the distance. When i asked him if he thinks we are drifting apart, he was shocked and said No, not for one second and asked if i though. I said i fear that we are running the risk to it as there has been no contact apart from text messages. He said it wont be forever and his busyness ( what he is doing is almost finished). Once I got angry because he was busy every time i text, even tho replaying, and that i feel Iām disturbing. when i said i was finding very difficult the all thing he got upset and said sorry, that he needed to work like that until the kids donāt need him anymore and that he doesnāt have anyone paying his wages so he wouldnāt have money if he doesnāt work like that. And that is for our future that he is working so much!
Iāve got 2 boys and no family here. Work full time (a lot). Been feeling sad and lonely as if i donāt have a boyfriend at all. He from being very romantic at the beginning, forgot our anniversary, didnāt mention valentines ( although send me a good morning message as he does everyday)ā¦I go from understanding to wanting to end as i think he doesnāt have time for me. He wants to get married, donāt know when, but iām unsure of everything as at the moment i donāt even feel like a girlfriend. WE some intimacy last summer and only slept together 3 times in 8 monthsā¦I donāt know what to do. His parents need hospital appointment time to time and he drives them. He is busy all the times. I donāt know how we can get together, but he seems to be planing all. I miss him a lot. When he texts me he says things like āhe loves me more than everything or to infinity and beyond. I do too but the distance is starting taking the tool.What do I do? -
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