Well done for coming through your experiences up to this point and for realising that to go forward requires a new type of depth.Spirituality can definitely offer you that and you will be strengthened by it.

From personal experiences i can say that meeting like minded people is a sign that we have so much to share and that longing is because the remainder of society as we see it it far too preoccupied with banality and superficiality to realise that.In that however we are like minded , in that we need to share- or we fall into the trap of regarding everyone else with a certain disdain or that they might feel so even tough we do not.keep contact with your “little friends” but maintain the gap which allows you to breathe as an individual and grow independantly.At some point we often have to realise that even though we have family friends etc, fundamentally we are alone with our Maker until such time as we shed our mundane existence for a purely spiritual one.In that I can definitely relate to your current position.

Only the giving of one’s self can ease the passing so to speak and we are called to do so.I think if you do so you will find that the like minded people you seek will gravitate towards you naturally and you may find unexpected depth in some of your current associates surprisingly.

I wish you lots of happiness in this life and the next, maybe we shall meet there too!

I agree some girls can be very offish when they want to be , if they are not straightforward from the start it’s probably better that nothing transpired because these things can spiral out of control and at the age we are talking about feelings and thoughts are magnified by ten or more

there are two issue you need to deal with, maybe three
1.With your emotional state you can’t see the forest for the trees- at some point we all become inundated-nothing we do, try or ” learn” will change that however since life is about self-discovery , at some point you WILL get to a clearing and be able to see.You should change the perspective on your life and acquire a bird’s eye view which will both distance yourself from the noise of these emotions and enable you to see that opening. Then go for it like everything depends on it.

2. Central to the feeling of being inundated is the fact that Despair worsens it , Hope defeats it. Despair is the ILLUSION there is no end in sight- Hope is the KNOWLEDGE that there is a better pathway and you will find it.That pathway is specific to you- no one can show you the way but it lies within you.

3.At some point we are all left alone with the darkest part of ourselves- if we reject it’s truth we fall into quicksand, while if we accept its truth we will arise because then nothing can defeat us.

We all feel we need inspiration, we all think that the answers are out there- they are not , you have the answers, you have the solution, you are holding onto anything at the moment in the hope that a quick relief will appear- that is not the case, however nothing will transpire until you engage your fighting spirit- when you realize that you yourself matter enough as something to fight for.Get up and Walk Friend!

First of all- you might just be too much to handle! nothing wrong with that- that’s how you are so accept yourself, there might not be anything wrong with you , only you yourself might be convinced of it.You might just be a caring person but a little overbearing;take a step back from all situations and concentrate on what you feel is important.

It might be other people weakness not to relate to you since people always like to live in a feel good zone sometimes ignoring reality.It is good to find joy in mutual relationships , that does not mean that you are tying to gain their approval, maybe just that you need to adapt to the context of that particular social group, there are many , each one with it’s own rules.It’s not a personality issue either just that you are adopting a veneer in order to “fit in” or it may be unnatural for you to fall in line with this group in particular- find another social context in which you fell more in tune naturally.This is part of social dynamics that not everyone is built for.Rise above that particular circumstance.Probably you will find when you have less to do with that group they will criticize you less, When some people gather together they feel better about themselves if they have another person to” bring down” it’s just a form of cowardice where they only feel comfortable with others similar to themselves.

Life is not a walk in the park, get used to overcoming trouble, danger and disaster, which are more likely companions than happiness joy and elation, otherwise you are also in a form of denial about why we exist at all.

bear in mind that you get defensive only because you are left with less options of how to relate nicely to others in the face of their reactions to you. Apologise where you feel you are wrong but where you feel you have no need don’t be apologetic, marking territory creates respect even though they may not like you for it.

As for overdoing things, if someone asks you to go a mile go two! willingly, then what can they have against you

good luck!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 7 months ago by BRUNO.

that’s awful and I’m sorry that you should endure something like that. Emotional abuse is as bad or worse than physical abuse- it is said that hurt people hurt people-I just read an article in Yahoo where people have labelled George Clooney in the same fashion with almost the same words!

I believe that shaming people at a sexual level is extremely abusive and infantile; not all people get to develop attitudes and habits towards matters like this in a normal healthy way and it is a credit to you that you have been able to have a baby!.Once anyone suffers any form of abuse the psychological effects are enduring-I would focus on my child and on his upbringing as a form of healing for both of you.Remember that not only are you suffering as a wife but the child will suffer from a lack of proper parenting from his dad as well and you may have to compensate.This seems all to like the Marlon Brando movie.

What I do know as well is that it is easy for us to recognise what is wrong and right but that once we get individually into the mechanics of a relationship , those precepts can fall out of the window very easily.What is a healthy exercise is also to keep alive what initially brought you together and encourage the lustre to be renewed each day in a little way.you can be superior in your humility but at the same time you need to keep your boundaries clean and clear.I agree with the Ruminant- a little more emotional maturity will go a long way and you can take the lead in that to improve your current situation.

I wish you many blessings

In your own words Archie,love is something which has many descriptions but resists definition- it could be the God particle for all we know.if you call it a Force emotion feeling or action you could be right and wrong at the same time.It is an elusive essence which can only be experimented but never possessed.You have to resist the temptation to classify it as well I believe as that can only lead to a division of it’s true meaning.Your post has two sides to it, one that your experience of it has left you confused as to what you really felt if at all you managed to feel it , or to question if what you felt might or might not have been what could be called love.That is your experience of it – in that for even a brief moment you could feel all its facets up to and including it’s absence- which is what lead you to delete the photograph.This is just another experience of love, unfortunately in this case the only way we can make contact with it is by experiencing all the range of emotions which are it’s by product including sadness and pain while we hope to feel joy and elation in the future.Hope it helps you make sense of it all.

From my male perspective and without opening a forum to anything degrading in nature-

1) I would have to google 34B to get an idea-no reference to you only that I’m not familiar with sizing not sure how many men keep that info on hand.(it is also true that the internet introduces us to many a shape and size and each one has it’s own quality-this is just nature, nothing obscene)

2) in my case, a woman’s physique becomes associated with her character or vice versa when i feel attracted to her therefore if i find something cute about her the rest follows including size and shape of things.I also wouldn’t worry about them as long I was the only one with the privilege of admiring them.(if you don’t mind me asking, what were the other 5 things?I would have you know that from teenagers men carry on discussions about their dream girls and about what they like the most- I don’t think you can escape that.However i do know that each individual goes for things altogether and that what some guys like other’s would not notice.Women can make the most of anything and though i can feel an instant physical desire for women of great typified sex appeal, i have never fallen completely for anyone of them more than the girl who sat next to me at school and was a Plain Jane.These are the ones who usually take our hearts away- the one you can kiss for ages without regard for whether they still have clothes on or not

You are concerned with the romance associated with physical intimacy- rightly so – it terrifies me , to the extent that it is far easier to only attend to one of the two at any given time which is sad since the fulfillment of a relationship can never come to fruition within that framework or, which should be the case , that intimacy is a factor of spontaneity and has nothing to do with size and shape but with the underlying mutual feeling of appreciation of the other in an integral manner having nothing to do with the size or shape of things- Don’t discuss it at all especially if it makes you feel uncomfortable- Nature has a way of blurring it out.

I can say that today’s world has brought about too much commentary about what we should do about sex, how to do it when how many times etc which detracts from what couples really do.I can also say that i have one ocasion discussed this particular attribute with a friend privately about a proposed romance in my life and regretted it quite severely since it has nothing to do with what i most liked about that person.Intimacy should rule, i think if you creat the right conditions for it you will feel comfortable again-it’s not a task or something which needs to happen rather something which happens wheni t does because it should.

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by BRUNO.