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Whelan

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Viewing 3 posts - 1 through 3 (of 3 total)
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  • January 4, 2020 at 9:46 am in reply to: Toxic Relationship #331097
    Whelan
    Participant

    Yes it is.  At least I know this sadness will fade eventually.  I couldn’t live like that anymore.  I just stepped out on to my porch and saw that at some point in the night he dumped all the gifts I gave him throughout our relationship… a sweater, some books, a silver bracelet.  Who does that?

    January 4, 2020 at 9:09 am in reply to: Toxic Relationship #331089
    Whelan
    Participant

    Anita,

    I told him many times that I didn’t feel secure in his feelings for me during our relationship because of the way he treated me…. He knew what I needed to feel loved but could only provide it for short periods of time and it always followed a big fight.  The only times he would tell me he loved me was when I was about to give up.  He would make an effort to plan dates or things for us to do and be open to my suggestions of things we could do together for a few weeks after another fight.  He’d be attentive and seemed genuinely interested in ‘me’ and we’d even discuss future plans.   But he’d always fall back into this pattern…He’d become distant and uncommunicative.  If I tried to talk to him about it he’d say he was just tired and busy from work or he’d tell me I was being insecure and needed to just focus on and worry about myself.. He’d also become more demanding…like if he knew I was off one day and he was working he’d call to ask me to bring him lunch or something to drink or a different pair of shoes from home.  He’d expect me to drop whatever I was doing to do this right away.  If I didn’t answer the phone he’d be furious.  I could always sense when he’d be starting another fight soon but I never knew what I was going to do to trigger it this time.

    January 3, 2020 at 9:35 pm in reply to: Toxic Relationship #331047
    Whelan
    Participant

    We met and it did not go well.  He was still so prickly and angry.  I felt sick to my stomach and so anxious the whole time… The idea of reconciling and repeating the cycle again was unbearable to me.  It’s over but I’m still so sad. I still miss him.  It’s so weird being torn between two opposite feelings.  I knew we could have got back together and things would have been good for a short while.  He’d be sweet and attentive and our relationship would be like I always wanted it to be.  But it always sours for some reason.  He gets bored? He’s has anger issues? He starts picking fights over little things that make no sense.

    He told me he loved me and wanted to continue working on this.. I told him I couldn’t.  Not only did he not trust me for his own reasons but I didn’t trust him after being lied to and cheated on by him 3 times…. He’s furious.  He wants me to return the phone he bought me after our last big fight… It’s the only phone I have…Also it’s the only gift he ever gave me in our entire relationship.  He says he’s burning/trashing all gifts or items that remind him of me.  I’m just getting a slew of angry texts messages here.  He’s blocking me…. He’ll have a new and ‘better’ girlfriend by tomorrow.

    How do you heal from this?

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