Anita, I offered many times to end our affair, because I thought he might want to work on his relationship with his wife, but he always said no. He has been with her 20 years and told me she is never going to change. I know her myself. She is def on a lot of drugs. I think he went back with her for the kids sake and is feeling guilty for having had this thing with me. I think his guilt is causing him to regret anything & everything having to do with me, and the easiest way to soothe his guilty conscience is to erase me from his memory. He doesn’t want anything to do with me, even though almost every, single thing in his house is something I bought him. I paid for shoes, clothes, rifle, rice cooker, etc. He even sleeps every night with the $800 sleep apnea machine I bought him. How can he use this stuff and not think of me? I don’t know how this guy cannot feel any guilt for what he did to me. I even paid for the eyeglasses he wears every, single day. I estimate I spent over $30,000 on this guy. He would go to the ATM and buy groceries, his daughter’s birthday gift, expensive pillows he got at Macys, etc. I am not exaggerating. Everything in his house was bought with my money. I am sick even thinking about it.

I did send him a nice email Alicya informing him that I had no hard feelings, and hope everything was going well for him, but I needed to know what was going on, because of our shared bank account, and he didn’t respond, nor has he called me. He couldn’t even give me that. He knows very well how hurt I am, and is in no way, shape or form going to try reaching out to me, because he is way too much of a coward. It is going on three weeks. The guy used me, got bored, and is now not wanting anything to do with me. Depressed my a**. I am moving on, however, getting ready to move into my new apartment, and am very regretful that I ever had a relationship with this person. He knows very well that he hurt me by dropping out of my life with no warning. Throwing all the romantics out of it, what about the friendship? That is what I miss the most. How could he have betrayed me like this is beyond me. The least he could’ve done is let me know he didn’t want to be in the relationship anymore. How funny that his dropping out of sight coincides right when I am renting the new apartment and the extra funds I used to help him were drying up. He knew this too, because I told him that I wouldn’t be able to help him as much financially, because my apartment was going to be over $1,000 a month. He even tried to talk me out of moving out of my dad’s house, so I would always have extra money. When I think of the extra money I spent on this guy, and him never buying me anything in return should’ve been enough of an answer that he didn’t really care about me. He was just having fun for a little while, and as soon as the money stopped being available he suddenly had to stop all communication with someone who helped him feed his freakin family! I helped pay his utility bills, gas, groceries, you name it. He even told me that he would’ve “sunk” without my help. That is the thanks I get in return. He drops out of my life with no warning, and gives me some stupid excuse that he will contact me when his “mind, body & spirit” are in place. Well, he can blow! I am, I suppose in the angry stage of this situation, compared to the hurt stage I was in last week & the week before. Hey, it is his loss! I was a true friend when he needed it the most, and now that the money isn’t as available, he suddenly can’t talk to me anymore. Liar!

A friend of mine told me the same thing. She said she’d be very surprised if he doesn’t contact me in the future. The thing I don’t understand is, why didn’t he just tell me this instead of sending that weird email? Also, he could’ve told me, so I would remove him from the bank account, which, by the way hasn’t had any transactions on. If he felt trapped by me he sure fooled me. The last Friday I spoke with him he acted completely normal. Also, he knows I am fixing to move to an expensive apartment and there isn’t going to be any more extra money. Maybe since there won’t be any extra money, my usefullness is gone? I have a feeling I am never going to hear from him again.

I don’t know how anyone could be that close to someone, then dump the friendship with no warning.

Anita, he works for his brother’s company. There is no way he would quit 100%. I don’t even know if that was the truth to be honest.

Here is what he wrote last Monday:

“I hope this email finds you well. I had an upsetting and pretty much confrontational discussion with my stupid supervisor, so for my actions, he rested me for the week. I basically told him to shove it and that I will go back if I want to. So, as of now, I’m working at the house, getting my paperwork together for other jobs I had lined up. I also left my work truck back there at the job site, so I am also trying to work on how to get around other than that little car I had bought for my daughter. I will be in touch with you as soon as I get my mind, body and spirit in place.”

Here was my response:

“I think I understood what you were trying to convey….thank you for at least letting me know. I am really sorry you are having such problems, but with any other areas of your life, you have to do what you have to do. With all sincerity, I truly hope everything will work out for you!”

I was wondering the same thing about the misunderstanding of my response. Was he trying to tell me he was breaking up with me over his email? Did I respond like I was cool with it? I can’t believe he would just never write me back. Is he waiting for me to write back? In my opinion, the ball is in his court, because I am the last person that wrote. Basically he told me that he would contact me when he was ready. That is how I am taking this. A couple of friends seem to think that he will reach out to me eventually, but I don’t. I am pretty convinced that he isn’t going to ever contact me again, because, simply, he doesn’t have to see me. We live four hours away from one another. It doesn’t make the pain any less, though. Do you know how many times I have told him, and offered to back away from the situation & to give him space, and he always says NO! I don’t want space from you! Something happened over last weekend to make this guy change his attitude & feelings towards me. We were so close as friends too. We knew about each other’s deepest, darkest secrets, and then for him to send me some weird, vague email like that is just freaky! This guy knows me very well, and he has to know that I am extremely upset about him not calling. I wonder if he’ll miss me even?