Yes, I’ve considered it, but its too fun to know that he is struggling when I don’t respond. That would be the sensible thing to do, but nothing about this dysfunct faux relationship was ever sensible!

Happy belated new year, Anita! I wanted to drop by to tell you that after my last post, I stopped worrying/analyzing why the “man” I had the affair with ghosted me. I spent the holidays with my family, my long term boyfriend just spent a glorious weekend with me and I am slowly trying to let the horrible memory of what happened between me & “the man” slip away. I’ve been pretty distracted with work & life in general. I actually have been quite happy, however…..I went to bed at my normal time last night after an exhausting day at work around 10ish. My boss usually has a habit of texting me at all hours of the night, or early in the morning, but I won’t answer it until the morning. Last night, after I was almost asleep, I heard my phone make a noise, then about a minute later, another noise to indicate someone was sending me a text. No big deal. I figured it was my boss. Who else would it be? Well, this morning, I looked at my phone and was horrified to see if was from that guy!!!!!!! He has not reached out since that last time. This text said, “How are u doing?” “Have you trapped any hogs on the ranch?”

Okay?????!!!!! WTF?????????? This came at 11:11 & 11:12 pm. If you are wondering about the question about hog traps, well, we have a hog trap on the ranch I work at. I don’t understand this guy. Is he mental? Why would he suddenly text me again and ask such a random question? I never wrote him back today. I’m quite sure he was drunk too. Thoughts on why he did this again? It’s like he doesn’t even acknowledge what he did to me, like it is just another thing.

Laurie

If you knew this guy, you would see that he is one that cares a lot about what people think of him. He gets upset when he thinks people are mad at him. He was probably trying to test the water to see if I was still mad, because I had sent him that scathing email back in July. I think he doesn’t like it when people are mad at him. Also, maybe he is scared that I might tell someone in retaliation. He should know that I am not the type to retaliate. I would never tell people what happened between us. He might’ve been scared of that. I don’t know. I seriously doubt he wants to start up anything else, because he would call me during daylight hours, not when he is drunk & thinking about it. I have forgiven him, but will never forget the pain this man put me through. It was so unnecessary & cruel. I find it really lame that he would say that the reason he didn’t reach out sooner is because it was too hot at home. What the hell does that even mean? So, suddenly it isn’t hot at home? Suddenly, he can sneak off and text his ex at 1 am? I don’t know what his game is, but I don’t want him anymore. I’m already dysfunctional enough without him confusing me more.

Perhaps now that I answered him, told him I am not angry anymore and that I am living my life and have moved on…will he do the same, or will he?

Dear Anita, there is no way I would get together with him in person. No way. Plus, my old boyfriend is back in the picture. I couldn’t do that to him. It wouldn’t be fair. My ex-lover had his chance. Why he wrote, “wish had u” is ridiculous. He DID have me. I would’ve done anything for the man, but he dumped me without a reason, and left me hanging. He treated me like shit, used me, and then got scared, because I was getting too serious, I suppose, and fled like a coward. Now that he has been without me for all these months, he probably misses all the good times we had, not to mention the fact that he was treated like a king. He isn’t getting that sort of attention where he is, I know that. Of course, I could be wrong on all fronts. He might just miss the sex, which, if memory serves, was quite incredible. Now, I have to admit, I miss that! There was a hell of a lot of passion going on when we were together. I don’t know what he would’ve typed further if I hadn’t cut off the text. I was very polite to him, however, told him that I am happy, working hard, and living my life. He responded by saying, “that’s great!” Also,  he knows that I live by myself. Would he be tempted to want to come visit? I know not. I think if he was really interested, he would try getting in touch with me during the week, during NORMAL hours, and not just in the middle of the night when drunk. Of course, he has taken baby steps to try getting me to respond. I know now that last month, he did try getting me to respond, but I didn’t. So, he waited another month, and tried again. I’m not sure if my cordialness will get him to attempt another reach. I kind of doubt it. I think he might’ve been trying to just see if I was mad at him or not. He knows I don’t hold grudges, so it made him feel better. I’m not sure why that “wish had u” slipped into the texting from him. What was he thinking sending something so ridiculous? I made it seem like I was over it already, and had moved on. If he regrets what he did, he has a weird way of showing it. So, to answer your question, no…I would NEVER meet with him in person again.

Thank you, Anita. You’re correct about me liking cleanliness & orderliness. Of course, I like my guests to be comfortable & relaxed at the same time. Anyway…I got this place a week after I was cruelly ghosted. I thought it would be a good distraction for me, and something I could look forward to. How surprised I was that my ex asked me in the text from Saturday night, if I ever moved out. What oh what did this guy want? Why after all these months would he reach out? It is, by far the weirdest thing I have ever been through. There was no excuse for what he did. I have analyzed this so many times since Saturday night/Sunday morning. He tried opening a dialog last month too, when he sent the first late night text. Then, the one this past weekend. He was trying to get me to respond. He even said, “I’m just happy you responded to my text.” Why did I cut off the communication that night? He probably would’ve kept typing, if I hadn’t said, “I know its late & all. Take care of yourself!” Would that curt reply make him think I’m no longer interested, hence he won’t try reaching out anymore, or will I hear from him again a few months down the line? Anita, your opinion is greatly appreciated. What do you think?

I guess I will be shutting down this conversation. I don’t have much to add. I will try heeding the advice I read about. You know, I would’ve rather NOT heard back from him. I was starting to heal after months of him ghosting, and really started feeling better, but then, he starts this reappearance bullshit. Oh, and if people are thinking I should’ve blocked him, yes, maybe I should’ve. Maybe me keeping the line unblocked, I was hoping deep down that I would receive an apology, which I have way did finally. Closure is closure, even if its from an inconsiderate savage.

Take it easy, Michelle. I was giving that lady Anita the background on his situation. Furthermore, you don’t need to rub shit in my face, I’m already fucked up as it is.

Excuse the typos above!