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October 20, 2016 at 5:30 pm #118578Ashley PottsParticipant
Hi D,
I personally dont consider you an “abuser”. You have trust issues. I completely understand why you would be upset. Being a woman, we see other women as threats, especially our boyfriends exes. He should not lie to you, no matter what the circumstances. There should always be open communication, even if he knows it makes you uneasy. So, please do not think that you’re crazy.
I understand that you love him, but is this what you feel you deserve? Are you able to trust him again? Also, do you know what it is that your boyfriend is saying to his parents that make them “hate” you? My concern is that he’s talking down on you to his parents.
Sometimes being in love clogs our thinking. Do you think thats whats happening here? What is your head telling you to do? Is your heart able to out weigh your head?
October 19, 2016 at 5:07 am #118487Ashley PottsParticipant
“I’d spent my whole life looking for myself in other people, looking for them to tell me who I was. And once I let them define me, I became completely dependent on them, because without them, I don’t exist.”I find myself able to relate to this way more than I should.
October 19, 2016 at 5:04 am #118486Ashley PottsParticipantMia,
Thank you for your input. I’m glad you finally found someone that treats you the way you deserve. Our situations like you said is quite different. But, I have to ask you, do you feel as though only having 1 partner since the age of 19 has taken away from your youth? I’m 20 years old, and can see myself with my current boyfriend for the rest of my life. I just don’t want to miss out on opportunities that I could have if I were single. But, I also don’t want to miss out on having a life long love.
October 18, 2016 at 8:21 pm #118459Ashley PottsParticipantI hope to someday reach the point where youre at. I understand that its not easy, but you really seem to be making it sound that way lol. How did you do all of this? Did you seek professional help also? Or did you do this all on your own?
October 18, 2016 at 6:32 pm #118456Ashley PottsParticipantI seem to be in the same situation you were in. I have an enormous need to be loved due to a traumatic child hood. Not only do I have an enormous need to be loved, but I also have an enormous need to have someone. At this point in my life, I am not able to be on my own. I dont like being alone with my thoughts. Its almost as if I need someone there to numb my pain. I depend on them for my happiness. So, to answer your question, I guess my fear is being alone. Im only 20 years old, and I realize I have my whole life ahead of me, I guess i just feel as though I should have my life together a little better. I’m worried that I’m going to continue to settle, as long as im not alone.
Thanks for your reply
Ashley.
October 18, 2016 at 5:41 pm #118454Ashley PottsParticipantI am in love with this post. I am currently struggling with these issues, & am seeking professional help through counseling. I’m currently in a relationship & have been for the last 2 years. We are living together & we are happy. As any relationship, we have our past. In the beginning of our relationship, he wasnt committed to me at all, and was doing things he shouldnt. 1 year and several months later, I still struggle with trusting him. He’s been earning my trust back slowly, but the seed is still planted in the back of my head. I know i wouldnt of put up with it if I had more self esteem, and self worth. Now that i’m seeking help to work through these personal issues i have with myself, im very scared that im going to realize that my boyfriend isnt what i want anymore.
Ashley
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