Steve, I totally relate to your experience. I hope whatever I say doesn’t hijack your thread and is instead helpful to you, as I am not giving advice, as I don’t think I have anything to give on this issue. I found this thread because of a google search I was desperately doing on the issue of work and embarassment, fear of failure, etc. I also am a teacher. I do early intervention work with children with autism under the age of 3. That is not the issue. The issue is how I emotionally deal with an incredibly diverse reactions from the parents of the children, whom I work closely with, and naturally are super-concerned with how they’re children are doing and how I am working with them. In a given day, ex. this past Friday, one parent thinks I am God, and another parent appears to be questioning my commpetency. One parent is asking me appropriately what they should do with their child. Another parent is telling me what I should do different and are totally not open to why I might be doing what I am doing. So, if I let my opinion of myself be dependent upon the reactions of the parents, my sense of self-worth is like a balloon blowing in the wind, with very powerful winds that can change direction in a moment. I cognitively understand all of this, yet this understanding has barely helped me. I don’t say this to be negative, or to take away from the wisdom of other replies to your post. They are spot-on. I have found it somewhat helpful to meditate on these issues, as it has helped me slow down my thoughts, and also to separate my higher observer self from the actual thoughts, thereby not identifying myself as the thoughts, but more an observer, and probably most importantly, a compassionate observer. Haven’t quite gotten to that point. I deal with these issues in therapy. Can talk more about this if you ask me too, but I am in grave danger of hijacking the thread. I will just conclude that I have always had a major issue in defining my self-worth based upon the opinion of others. It is painful and I empathize with you to the max.
Art