I’m at a crossroads in my life and I need help. I came across this site and was reading many stories that are very similar to mine.

My husband and I have been together for almost 10 years and are coming to our 2 year wedding anniversary. His parents have ruined everything from Day 1 of our proposal. If I would have understood the situation during the wedding planning I don’t think I’d be married today. To make this very long story short EVERYTHING involving the wedding planning they had something to say I’m saying everything; from the venue, bridesmaid dress, contract signing, everything under the sun. They didn’t like this and that. Now not realizing things at the time I’m thinking these ppl are crazy they need to relax and let us just plan our wedding. I’ll share one story, we were at our venue about to sign the paper and with all the drama I wanted my fiancé at the time and I do complete the signing without our parents in the room. And that was a big issue for his parents. His father and mother had plenty to say about that and wasn’t in agreement. His father stormed out which I now know is something he does regularly. Luckily my mother was there to support/defend me because my now husband stood there like a statue and said nothing the entire time. Nothing! With everyone in the room with us we singed our venue contract.

Now fast forward to being married. His parents are continuing to invade our space. They are talking negatively and complaining about me to my husband. They are talking garbage one day and then smiling in my face when I see them. If we decide to leave a gathering early because we have something to do or just want to leave that’s an issue. If we can’t go to a gathering at all or together that’s an issue.

My husband gets calls from his parents regularly and their yelling at him like he’s a child about the above. My husband is 36 years old! His parents are beyond verbally abusive and controlling toward my husband. And come to find out that they have been like this his whole life. Now that we are married they think they going to control me as well and our relationship.

I decided that enough was enough and I wasn’t going to continue to be treated this way and nor was my husband. Throughout the wedding planning and first 1.5 years of marriage we went to talk to them (Try to) on several different occasions to figure out what the issues are so we can move on. Every time we went to talk nothing was resolved. His father walked away and his mother sat talked but nothing was resolved. It has continued and it’s only getting worse.

So I figured if we can’t all sit down and talk like adults I’m going to email them. I sent this email which stated the truth. Sharing with them that what they’re doing is negatively affecting both my husband and I. They read the email and did not contact my husband. We saw them at a family gathering. The entire family knows about the email sent. I always felt uncomfortable at family gatherings because of the unresolved issues. But I have never felt that uncomfortable in my life! But I went supported my husband thinking maybe they’ll take the email for what it is. WELL, they didn’t. They ignored me that whole time. They spoke to my husband about the email but refuse to talk to me. Which doesn’t help the situation.

My husband and I have been in therapy since the winter because of his parents. And I thought we were getting somewhere. Our therapist suggested that my husband break away from his family so they know that were serious and that at some point we will get the respect were demanding. My husband has been telling me he can do it but he’s not willing to actually do it. He’s had several opportunities but hasn’t done anything. And I understand it’s hard. But he’s leading me on and expecting me to sit here miserable until he’s ready. There’s so much more involved. It’s sad. He’s a great guy but him allowing his parents to control his life. We haven’t been able to start our life yet and I don’t know if we will at this point because I can’t handle this mentally or emotionally. I have a history of depression that I was able to get myself out of naturally but I fell into a very dark place. I can’t allow myself to get to that place again.

The one thing I’m thinking of most is our future. What will our future be like if we just push it all aside like we’ve been? I don’t want him to resent me which I feel like he is already. He physically told me that he’s not ready to break ties from his parents. And sharing his true feeling about everything which is the polar opposite from what I was told initially. I don’t want him to do anything he’s not ready for. But I also don’t think it’s a healthy situation for either of us to just sit here miserable. I can’t seem to just move past it and talk normally. It’s been an issue and it’s never resolved by just ignoring it. I can’t ignore it anymore I want some type of resolution. I can’t imagine brining a child into this world with him and his parents. They would want to be around their grandchild and I wouldn’t want them near my baby. And that’s not fair to him as a father.

I very confused and I know the answer will come to be. I’m so shocked that this is where we are in our lives together and that it could end because of his parent’s behavior and his dedication to his parents/family.

I definitely have more to share but that would be very very very long!

Any advice???