Thanks Anita for your considered reply.

I completely understand where you are coming from with fairness being a human construct. I know this is true – but I find it hard to accept. It’s my inner child screaming ‘but why isn’t life fair?!

Your assumptions are partially correct about my children. My first was put down to a one-off after tests came back clear. After my second stillborn, doctors did further in depth tests and concluded that my cervix was probably incompetent and so I have surgery in my third pregnancy. This did not work as expected and I went into labour with my third child prematurely. He then died. I have since been told that I would need more invasive surgery to have a chance at a successful pregnancy.