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anxiousangelParticipantproblem has ben..all ths has turned out to b an exercise of intellectual understanding.
i hav understood the process for a long time now.
but i need broken down advise on what to change and where,as i mentioned i m overthinking overanalyzing brred,i get caught up in this cycle f analysis and dont make those valuable changes,
u r right i kno. wat to do now. shud i see a therapist. i m thinking f seeing one.
anxiousangelParticipantAnita
Stay with it.
I got wat u r pointing to.
Let me process it further. I m an overthinking being..and lack patience.U cn comment furthur what i need to do.
But do u think my problem is too big to solve.
I want it to go bfore i m married…else i wud judge my spouse and will never hav intimacy and honesty wid her in relationship. Also i want to accomplish sumthing in life. I kno i m different ans a performer..want to use it to develop the art8st within in a presebtation industry. Buy dont kno hw to. My pife has alaways been full f promise but lacking in tangible results which build up ur credibility.Thanx a lot.
anxiousangelParticipantWhen ppl come close to me..they kno i possess qualities which they respecr i get the love and appreciation… Personality is an adaptaion..a live presentation..and all my life i hav been busy in it…to fulfill my desires..and considered good enuf for things.
But nw i want my energies not to fear the world s perception ..find peace within..and do things in allignment wid my authentic self. I hav strong spiritual inclination ..and i m different i kno tht. But i want to b peaceful and engrossed in my uniqueness now.
anxiousangelParticipantVery correct anita..not only it is choking my authenticity..it is affecting my goals and my perception of life.
Also i wnat to get out if it as it is consuming. But here ur point f me being my authentic self in doing so(which u made in 1 st reply)…made sense..
Are these social needs…needs of my authentic self. Is its deep desire to b loved and appreciated making me do all these things..and eventually choking me.
I m willing to consider all viewpoints to rewire my life.
Talking to u is revealing anita.
I m trying to make it simple..forgive mistakes.anxiousangelParticipantAnita..
A..I m in that stage of life where backround doesnt matter much but ones achievements do.. So i hav made my peace wid that..it was a problem in childhood which shaped my behaviour into the habit of ego projection and info management..and thats the problem.the habit is the problem.
B.. Because of ths habit..i crave fr appreciation and project an image of self.ehich evryone does to fit in society.but i do it more conciously and project one image tht is unblemished..at times i myself start believing the chatacter…and forget the real issues. Ths produces misalignment in my goals and the required efforts and i miss them.
I miss the goals as my focus always goes to being declared as the worthy aspirant of the goal by ppl..and not the goal itself. I love hearing he has a lot of potential arguement.if tht happens a powerful projection had been achieved.
C.. I think my goals they are itself determined by my image or ego needs. They invaraibly point to recognition,status,prestige and appreciation socially… So i want to confirm is it wat i really want frm inside..or My goals are my needs to furthur my social identity.
Lastly. I hav taken 3 days out to figure out ths stuff..thts why the desperation and detailed info in the post. Please dont mind.
I m an analyzer .. I like this.
I kno its complicated but is my way f life .
anxiousangelParticipantSpirituality for me…is experiencing joys of spirit..which is lost in the socisl world ehich is dominated by personality.
Societys dictated norms values role obligations hierachies judgements desire for mobiluty..kees us rngaged in a nvr fulfilling game…trying to control all outcomrs in our favour..it feels stupid at times.
Whn ths stupidy reveals a whole new world of spiitual joy things open up. But it cn either b coz u r bored f mundane life..not doing well socially..want avego boost..so choose it as an escape..an intellectual entertainment…or u really realize the worth nd wajt a shift in ur perspective.
Coreconcepts whoch clear all problems in life like… Self love.acceptance.being in present.identfying basic desires.mending relationshop with self shud b disvussed in executable terms more on spiritual websites than more of theorizing and producing insightful arguemrnts. Thnx a lot.
anxiousangelParticipantTwo points cody
1. U r wonderful. Everyone is. U r unique.
It may or maynot conform with the cultural idea of being the best. But tell me hw many ppl in ur lofe hav u solely judged on their physical features or belly fat… To see thru who they are and thr importance.. It is just in the initial phase.. Whrn u start experiencing the person they are. These little imperfections just fade away. They accept u..U need to do the same. Accept urself and then see who u r..asa complete picture. U hav got wat u hav got..u cant change it. No point resisting it. Dont resist and u wud feel ok abt it.
2. U r only 24. Life is along journey. Superficial things like these cant determine ur journey. In ths materialistic culture being cool and perfect is being propogated..but no one is. Make the most out f life. Change ur perception ..this u can for a more fulfilling life.
Thanks
anxiousangelParticipantAnita..
A..I m in tht stage of life whr backround doesnt matter much but once achievements do.. So i hav made my peace wid tht..it was a problem in childhood which shaped my behaviour into the habit of ego projection and info management..and thats the problem.
B.. Because of ths habit..i crave fr appreciation and projext an image of self..which is unblemished..at times i myself start believing tht i m this only… Ths produces misalignment in my goals and yhe required efforts and i miss them.
I miss the goal as my focus always goes to being declared as the worth aspirant pf the goal by ppl..and not the goal itself. I love hearing he has a lot of potential arguement.
C.. I think my goals they are itself determined by my image or ego needs. They invaraibly point to recognition status prestige appreciation socially… So i want to confirm is it qat i really want frm inside.. Is ther a way.
Lastly. I hav taken 3 days out to figure out ths stuff..thts why the desperation and detailed info in the post. Please dont mind.
I m an analyzer .. I like this.
anxiousangelParticipantMay b i gelt adhamed anita and formed the above arguement to jusyify it. I m not sure.
anxiousangelParticipantU had been an alpha male..as u said.
Lately u started paying a lot of attention to make her happy..make the house look lovely dr her..out of the grown love in u fr her.
Emotionally u feel robbed as u het on her as a stable support and partner…and she left. She had her own reasons..u cant do nethng bout it.
Move on..meet new ppl. Accept she s gone.
Emotionally get stable normal..
She s not lyf. If now u pay attention elsewhr u ll do well.. Lover is the only one side f ur self. Look to grow on other sides.Financially..deal wid the shit as it has to b done.
My personal view only.
anxiousangelParticipantU had been an alpha male..as u said.
Lately u started paying a lot of attention to make her happy..make the house look lovely dr her..out of the grown love in u fr her.
Emotionally u feel robbed as u het on her as a stable support and partner…and she left. She had her own reasons..u cant do nethng bout it.
Move on..meet new ppl. Accept she s gone.
Emotionally get stable normal..
She s not lyf. If now u pay attention elsewhr u ll do well.. Lover is the only one side f ur self. Look to grow on other sides.Financially..deal wid the shit as it has to b done.
My personal view only.
anxiousangelParticipantIr makes me feel unfair.judged perceptions need extra effort.tht i hav to deal with when i deal wid the world.
I disapproved f it
.so i pick majority f my identity frn my school activities not home.Wen i used to come home during holidays to home.
The discomforted relationships..the shortages at
Home disturbed my own inner energies.
I lived my life in a diffetent constructed reality wen i was away frm home.I thot ths detail was imp.anita
anxiousangelParticipantNumber one… U want to leave him for that guy..accept it.
U find ur needs hetter satisfied there…and now lookin at his background for suitable justification in the past.Numeber two.. Your guy was unhappy due to his own unresolved issues..unachieved goals or self worth…and it generally made him feel unhappy..nw he is happy..and so things are fine.
Now see what u want..if u cn wotk and recreate old highs wid the first guy..go fr him coz u kno him better and he knows ur imperfections.
Number 3 second guy is ur necessary escape from gloom.. Attention and importance pulled u. Go deep and understand ur true feelings wid him..
Get a crude one word answer.Take the choice.
Thanks.
anxiousangelParticipantBarberi.
Ur point is whr i m getting.
Problem is in the thought.
I miss my goals coz f focus..although i kno i m capable for them.But a lot f distractions demand my attention.
As the thoughts sway in many directions.Wat do u hav to say on it…
anxiousangelParticipantMy problem is thr i m in the wrong game. Ego projection and identity defence.
It takes lot of energy..worry.. Manangemnt. And i need to get out f this to either achieve my goals. Or to discover my real self, emotions and likes and dislikes.Something is fundamentally misaligned..and it needs a shift.
Any remarks.
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