How do you expect to let go of that box if you want it gone completely? This is not how the mind works. You cannot expect to end your pain by wanting it gone. That desire for relief is really what is causing you pain.

I have suffered from OCD, avoidant personality disorder and other things.

Now. These things cannot even touch me. Why? I do not care if any negative feeling comes or leaves me.

Accepting all of your pain, truly with your soul realize that there is absolutely nothing you can do about your pain.

Wherever you put your attention, that is where your mind will take you. If you focus your mind on your past, then that is your present life.

When you spend your time hoping your life will be perfect. You will only ever see every single imperfections that needs repairing to reach that goal.
You will never reach a peaceful life if you want things gone. If life has given you all these things. Than accept that as your life. If you can accept all of these things, than exactly who’s problems are they. Anxiety, fear, whatever. They are separate from the being who accepts them. That division, is pretend.

Than maybe your life will be far greater than a bunch of thoughts and a few emotions that have meaning to whoever you think you are.
After all you can never think who you are. You can never believe who you are.

So than what makes you you? Turn your mind into who you think you are. If you do this with such intensity your mind will be forced to swing in that direction.
Your mind will stop caring about the past, everything will not be gone. It will be here in the present, but the major change will be, that you will be more in the present.

Also it is extremely important to understand. That problems only ever come when a person does not meet expectations based on their perspective of life. This perspective is influenced by other people.

If you understand your perspective of life. Your problems cannot exist, only when you understand your perspective has absolutely no relevance to reality.

That is how people give life meaning, by perspective of life. Life has no meaning and if it does, we can never know.

You say life is this and that. And your anxiety blossom, only because you have not reached your idea of life.

If you can see that you are absolutely totaly 100% in control of your life. You will stop trying to control it.

-Peace