Hey there. Defensiveness is a natural, built-in human reaction. And like all of us you’re probably defensive more often than you’d find it suitable. In this case I’d like you to try and establish which parts of your personality bring up a feeling of insecurity inside you and which are the ones that you’re sure of. That’s because most of the time we get defensive because of 2 reasons: either our beliefs/convictions are challenged and we want to defend them, or our insecurities are brought up and we feel that others shouldn be aware of our shortcomings and we start defending ourselves for this reason. Realize that if you’re sure of something nobody can take that away from you, it’s what you know, it’s what you believe and it’s the best there is. On the other hand, if you’re insecure about something and you feel you should develop yourself in that field – treat this feeling as an invitation to develop yourself. Recognize your shortcoming and instead of trying to convince yourself and others that it isn-t there – embrace it and divide some energy to improving yourself in that field. I hope this was helpful 😉

Hey, it may not be that bad after all! Try to find out what the common topics of the group are, what are their interests and educate yourself a bit on that subject. Thank just try striking conversations with those individuals who seem like they’re “leaders of the tribe”. I mean the people who always draw the most attention to themselves in social gatherings, those whom we all enjoy listening to. Observe how they act and then just try to imitate them – if the group likes a certain type of jokes (not offensive of course), tell that type of a joke to somebody. Not necessarily to the whole group at lunch break, but just to one person. Then almost certainly that person will share your joke with the whole group. Maybe that’s not a joke, maybe they like talking about certain aspects of work, or a tv show. Look for common interests and if you won’t be able to find one, then just become interested. That’s probably the simplest way: if you want to be interesting – become interested, if you don’t want to follow – start building a following, if you want people to talk to you – start talking to them (about their interests – usually ourself is our favorite person, right?).