Hi Sapna.
Your story touched my heart. Some of the things you wrote were my story. I’m now 52 years old, Have jumped from 1 addictive relationship to another.
I’ve always seen my self worth through the eyes of others.
As a child my parents didn’t care for me or my 5 sisters, we never received any love or affection. I’ve realized now their parents never showed them love either.
Over the years I’ve craved attention from all the wrong people. Friends have come and gone. The farther of my 2 children walked out when my son was 5 years old
and was never seen again. Boyfriends have left me. every time these events have happened I’ve cried my heart out, till I can barely stand the pain.
I was eventually given the advise Matt has given you.Go back and love your inner child.It doe;s take time to connect with your young self, It took me weeks
to actually feel I had my younger self in my heart, and was able to hug her and promise I’d always love her.

I’m now 2 years into my own journey. It hasn’t always been easy. I’m much kinder to myself. I no longer need people for myself validation.
I wish you all the best and hope you gain peace love and happiness

I’m having issues with obsessive thoughts, and right now feel very rejected by a family member. Today though I started decorating my lounge,
I’ve put this off a number of occasions,mainly running around after my Daughter, and waiting in case she needs me.
It all stops now……My lounge looks fantastic even tho I do say so myself……. I love the fact that today I’ve sung along to some of my favorite CDs,
and been here for me xxx

Hi Ingrid. My relationship also lasted 9 years.we parted then got back together on many occasions. We both come dependent on each other. When we were apart jealousy took over,there would be emails, texts and phone calls accusing each other of cheating. i obsessed over him always wanting contact, needing that interaction no matter how small. We’d brought 2 dogs when we first meet, (he’d kept them) so that become another reason to bind us together. now I think we both found it difficult to let go. Eventually he meet someone new, and fell in love. There was no more contact between us.My jealousy was immense,I even wrote him a couple of letters, which wasn’t very nice. He’d ignore me if we meet in the street. that hurt more than anything. His sister is still one of my closest friends. So though her I;d hear occasionally about his life. I pretended to her I wished him to be happy. I eventually hared he’d got engaged, he’d never asked me to marry him. I realized I couldn’t hang onto what if anymore.It was over. One year later he got cancer and died aged 35. I still feel guilty 2 years on. In hindsight I wished I’d set him free. Our dogs are now looked after by his dad, I remain in contact with all his family, They never got to build a relationship with his girlfriend. I attend the anniversaries, Birthday, day he died ect. I visit his grave and apologize for my behaviour towards the end.
I should’ve got in contact when I heard how ill he’d become.his sister said he’s in ICU nothing could be done.
Time passes the guilt doesn’t.
Live your life Ingrid. no one knows when it’ll all be to late xxx

IOn paper my life looks pretty ok. My head tells a completely different story. I try very hard to live in the now…..Does’t happen often enough. Some days I wonder if I’ve been such a bad person to have ended up this lonely.I protect myself for fear of ejection. I have 2 grown up children and 6 grandchildren. I’m close to my family, but they don’t need me with them constantly. I feel guilty about my childrens pasts,although they tell me their fine and to live my life…….What life.. I feel I should be out there having a wonderful time. My friend died of Cancer last year,he wanted so much to live. Had plans for the future was full of life. Makes me feel awful because I don;t have that jest for life. Friends tell me I’ve built such an high fortress around myself no one can reach me…….. I’ve recently joined this site after another Sunday spent lo
looking for answers