Hi Anita,

Thanks for replying. I feel like this world is full of people who will do anything to take you down if it could move them ahead. I am afraid of claiming my ADD on disability status because I may not even get hired in the first place.

I am thinking of going back to school so that maybe I can work independently at some point. I’m not sure, I will do what you suggested.

Thanks

Hello Anita,

Thanks for responding. I was actually looking forwards to see what you had to say. I think you have a great point. I need to stop feeling like i’ll be a failure if I don’t do something just because I was told that’s the only way to be successful. I agree, I need to be interested in the subject. I may also have fibromyalgia, which is related to ptsd, stress, depression, and anxiety.

I agree, the information processing has become worse over time due to unforeseen circumstances. I am hoping that a rheumatologist and/or a psychologist may be able to help. I’ve been very depressed lately and feeling down. More recently, I found out my boyfriend is moving away for completing a graduate degree.

Hi Garima,

Thanks for responding. Being anxious and stressed can make it very difficult to focus on other things. I too know in the back of my mind that I have to take care of my career. It stays in the back of my mind and will be triggered by some event.  For example, I was okay until I went to the library with a friend and realized other people were studying and I had been out of school for a year.

Thanks for the kind words priyaharidas. Take care!

Hello Anita,

Thank you, I am feeling very free and happy about the estrangement (sounds silly doesn’t it). I had a realization after my original post that some people feel that it is OKAY to abuse/ bully because they are a family member. I think in this case she knows that she can control other people using her tantrums and harassment. At least she can control her parents that way.

We are not getting married any time soon, but I still do not want her there. I doubt that she will apologize or correct her behavior. The night it happened I thought it may have just been because of the alcohol, but the act continued and the harassment increased. She began the silent treatment, yelling, etc…

I think her parents are definitely embarrassed by her behavior and have done their best to ensure that I am comfortable. I don’t think they see her behavior as abusive. It’s viewed as her “struggling” or “begging for attention,” but that is not how adults should act. In a way they are enabling her, but like I said before they won’t punish her because she’s “Struggling”…I worked really hard to avoid her in order to avoid a confrontation or even her screaming at me. I am unsure of how things would have turned out when she came home and I was there.

Anita, you are very understanding. I said the same thing that you mentioned above. I have no problem cutting contact with other people because I realized that abusive people have a problem and will continue their abuse as long as you allow them to. I think he understands why I am angry/upset because it was completely uncalled for. You are right that he is conflicted because he doesn’t know what to do. I don’t think he will ignore his sister or anything for her behavior towards me. I DO NOT want to be stuck to her for the rest of my life. I think that we have different experiences in terms of family as in he always had a loving family while I’ve been pushed over the edge to where I basically had to go no contact. Some people may say that it’s unrealistic to ignore your sibling for your partner, but I would do it if they were harassing my partner for no reason at all! I think that I need to work on accepting my feelings because I keep looking for people to validate whether what I am feeling is okay to feel or if it is wrong.

Hi ElleTinker700,

I think it is a good idea not to stress about loans too much. Obviously it will be a process and will take some time paying them off. I would be really unhappy working in a food related job, i’m not very good at it. I think another factor that plays into this is that I’ve worked so hard for four years and paid a lot of money for a good education. I would like some payoff for this at the least least. You are right, management positions are definitely what i’m after at this point. 🙂

Hi Matty,
I have considered post-baccalaureate programs. I may take a look into it a bit more once I can secure a job. I didn’t write in this post, but moving home is not an option. I think you are right and it’s a wonderful idea that you can have a specific degree to become a counselor/ advisor. I may look into that a little bit more. I’m studying neuroscience, but unfortunately my GPA isn’t very competitive to get into a good school. My friend has encouraged me to apply regardless of that. I will think about it.

Hi Jockgilchrist,
I did get accepted to a low wage job, which I rejected. I think I may not do an AmeriCorps job for that same reason. I really like your quote “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” and when you said not to be CERTAIN about something before taking a first step. I think this is kind of key for me. I’ve done this in the past and it has turned out really well (like applying for college), however, in other situations it has turned out horribly. I think I just need to keep applying and kind “throwing the net out” to see what I can catch. For a while I got so busy that I couldn’t focus on applying to jobs on top of all my other work. I did meet someone and it inspired me to look into sales jobs. It looks promising. I will let you know more later.

Thanks for responding everyone!

Hi,

Inky – He has become violent because he needs money everyday. He woke up hung over and always slams doors and screams for money. My mother is enabling him. He has loans on a car that he bought. My mother is paying them. He uses excuses everyday, going to the gym etc. to get money. My mother knows exactly what he’s doing and she continues to enable him to keep the “peace” or prevent him from yelling and slamming doors. She will complain to him and yell thinking he will learn. I can not stop her, she thinks he will be in a worse place if he doesn’t get money.

Anita – This has only happened once in front of me. I will do that next time.