The interesting thing is that we DID buy a bed and beds for the kids. In December. He put the half payment down and has never had them delivered or made the final payment.

His child hood was strange. His father was an alcoholic (currently sober after a near death cancer experience), his mother wanted to leave his father forever. His Mom does not drive. He was responsible for getting his mother to-from work as a teenager. Everyone loves him personally and professionally. He has a lot of acquaintances and friends. Very outgoing on the outside. Had 2 7 year relationships that ended. Never engaged or married.

If he shows up it will take great strength to turn him down. I don’t think he will ever show up though…regardless, the possibility is in the back of my mind. I feel like any progress I’ve made will be for nil.

I have to constantly remind myself that he NEVER followed through with things. Big things and little things. I was always disappointed with unmet words and that disappointment led to the feeling of hopelessness that he can not keep his word and follow through. Eventually there just wasn’t that expectation and that’s even sadder, to feel hopeless with someone you love. Once I began to feel that, it was the beginning of the end.

Thank you for listening. This is tremendously helpful.

I am going back and re-reading these responses because they are giving me strength. I know it’s all so fresh, but I can’t remember feeling this heartbroken before. Even when my 12 year marriage ended.
I’m trying to see the relationship with a real lens and not overly rosy or dark. Although in retrospect, I DID cry nearly daily from disappointment and living in limbo. That is a truth. I have to remember that in my week moments.

I’m feeling extremely fragile. I appreciate the responses.

He did not come this weekend. He was in Dallas for work (2.5 hours away) but did not come here. I told him yesterday that I unequivocally cannot do this anymore. That it was his procrastination and empty promises that led me to this decision.

I also told my children last night. They were sad. I felt incredibly guilty for putting them out there to love someone and then telling them this person would no longer be in our lives.

He told me that he was coming in two weeks to propose. I told him that I’d heard that before and not to come. I even said that I need to not be in contact with him so that I can move on.

I had a totally different picture of where our life was headed (much like when my marriage of 12 years ended). I don’t know if I should keep myself from thinking about that, focus on WHY we broke up, or let myself wallow in the sadness/relief of no longer being in limbo.

Thank you so much for replying. I am reeling inside my brain. He is very much all talk. He would say things like “I have big plans this weekend”. When in reality he had no plans at all. I asked him why he didn’t follow through all the times. If it was money or if he was questioning his feelings, etc. He said No, that it was “all him”. Procrastinating, I suppose.
He is 38 and never married. I am 37 and was married for 12 years. My ex husband left to marry his secretary (very cliche). He has been in 2 long term relationships (over 7 years each).
I thought this would be different. He always tells me that he’s so different in our relationship. Much more open and all he wants is to be a family.
Unfortunately his actions never match his words.