I haven’t brought that coffee meeting again, I am not sure if I really wanted to be friends with her to begin with. I am not the type who will pretend to like you if I know in me that I don’t like you and here comes the issue of really wanting to know what’s going on.

For the past a week and a half, I just stopped caring about who he talks to on his phone, what he does, where he goes. I stopped checking on him when he is at work and I kept my self busy. I enrolled in a fitness class, making healthy meals and practicing mindfulness. I am just focusing on my self and so far he is acting the way I wanted him to. He now checks up on me, wondering what I have been up to. I pretty much is showing him that my world does not revolve around him alone. As a result, I am more relaxed, things like this stop bothering me a lot. It still does sometimes and I will just snap my self out of it. (it’s easier now)

I am a control freak and I know that. I am afraid of losing control and that makes me paranoid and it adds horror scenes in my mind but ever since I stopped caring, the paranoia is diminishing. From all of this I learned that we really cannot control people. We cannot stop them from cheating on us and betraying us. They will do it if they really want to and if they did that is on them. I am a catch. He will end up losing an amazing woman and she will lose her marriage and I will for sure lose years of good relationship, a friend, but it will be a good riddance if it comes to that.

I am all for fighting for our relationship but I will never compete with another woman over his attention and that’s what we need to do ladies. If he really loves me which he says he does he will do the right thing. He is a man and I am hoping that he will be man enough to act appropriately and if not it is lost not mine.

I have been doing a lot of thinking too lately and asking myself if I really wanna play detective all the time? If I had to do that then we shouldn’t be in a relationship. I lose sleep because I over think things and I dont think it is worth it. I made my choice of loving my self and focusing on my self.

I guess right now I am just relying on fate. If we are meant to be together,perfect. If not, at least I am walking away with my dignity intact. I didn’t wreck any relationship or hurt anybody and I strongly believe in Karma. What goes around comes around.

That is exactly what I said to him yesterday. I told him that maybe I wanna be friends with her and her husband too. He said that would be a good idea so we can have more social life and he said that would be good for us but I didnt really make any plans yet but I will bring it up and make a solid plans to meet up.

I try my best to not be judgemental of her because in my mind she might just be a really friendly person and she is just like that.

Thank you for the suggestion and I will post it for updates.